Harry: *Skips into dormitory happily* Ah, such a beautiful day, don't you think so Sir MoldyWarts?
Sir Moldywarts the Flamingo: *Does nothing*
Harry: *Gasps* You have gossip! *Throws himself onto the bed* Tell me! I'm ready for the news
Sir Moldywarts the Flamingo: *Does Nothing*
Harry: Not until I say please? Fine. Please!!!!!!
Sir Moldywarts the Flamingo: *Does Nothing*
Harry: I have to sing please in a song? Fine. *Sighs. Screams at the top of his lungs* PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEEEAAASSSEEE!! I SING THE PLEASE SONG FOR SIR MOLDYWARTS, SIR MOLDYWARTS, SIR MOLDYWARTS! THE PLEASE SONG TO SIR MOLDYWARTS! OH WON'T SIR MOLDYWARTS ACCEPT MY PLEASE???????
Ron: *From the potions classrom* OI! SHUT IT!
Harry: *Huffs* That wasn't nice of Ronnie-Farts. Do you accept my please Sir Moldywarts?
Sir Moldywarts the Flamingo: *Does even more Nothings*
Harry: Yes! Okay, spill
Sir Moldywarts the Flamingo: *Stares into nothingness through its nonexistent eyes* (remember Sir Moldywarts is imaginary. Just don't tell Harry I said that or he'll hit me over the head with a spatula like he did to Dumbledore's grave last week)
Harry: OMIGOSH! OMIGOSH! OH-MY-GOOOOOOOSSSHHHH!!!! You're having babies?
Sir Moldywarts the Flamingo: *Stays still*
Harry: You're adopting? LAMESIES!!! Well I suppose I'm godfather?
Sir Moldywarts the Flamingo: *Makes no noise*
Harry: WHAT??? WHAT DO YOU MEAN SNAPE'S GOING TO BE GODFATHER????? YOU CAN'T MAKE THAT GREASY-HAIRED-SHAMPOO-HATER-BEACHBALL YOU'RE BABY FLAMINGO'S GODFATHER!!! WHAT ABOUT MEEEEEEEEE?????
Ron: *Appears in doorway* Harry? Are you okay?
Harry- NO! NO, RONNIE-FARTS. I AM FAR FROM OKAY! SIR MOLDYWARTS THE FLAMINGO IS GOING TO MAKE GREASY-HAIRED-SHAMPOO-HATER-BEACHBALL SNAPE THE GODFATHER OF HER BABIES INSTEAD OF ME!!! MY LIFE IS ENDINNNNNNNGGGGG!!!! *Falld dramatically off the bed*
Ron: Flamingo? *Looks around and sees nothing* Harry there's no flamingo
Harry- *Gasps* Her NAME is Sir Moldywarts, Ronnie-Farts, and she is right there on Stinky-Dean's bed!
Ron: *Looks at Deans bed and sees nothing. Backs out of the room slowly* Okay Harry I'm gonna go
Harry: WHAT? No! You can't go Ronnie-Farts!! I'm not godfather!!!!
Ron: Be godmother then, uh hear that! *Yells behind him* Coming Random Gryffindor who's calling me! *Runs out of room*
Harry: Godmother! Yes! Can I Sir Moldywarts? Can I, can I, can I?
Sir Moldywarts The Flamingo: *Randomly jumps and does ballet off the bed*
Harry: WHAT? NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MRS-UGLINESS-NO-FUN-NORRIS CANNOT BE GODMOTHER!!!! IT NEEDS TO BE MEEEEEEEEEEEEE
Sir Moldywarts The Flamingo: *Dissapears*
Harry: *Gasps and Jumps up* MAGIC!!! AHHHHH!!!! *Runs to Black lake and dives in. Has conversation with the giant squid until he passes out*
YOU ARE READING
High Harry
FanfictionHow would the infamous Harry Potter behave if he was high? What if the horcrux was 99.9% of his brain? This book is a collection of stupid and ridickulus things Harry Potter might do if he was completely stupid, which he sorta is since Hermione had...
