Harry: You know, I've always wanted to be a kitten
Dudley: Uh, Harry?
Harry: Or maybe a dog. It'd go BARK! DIE! BARK! DIE! BARK!!
Dudley: What the hell?
Harry: Oh! oh! I know. I'll be a tiger and go 'HAHAHAA DIE GREASY-HAIRED-SHAMPOO-HATER-BEACHBALL SNAPE!'
Vernon: What's a Snape?
Dudley: What's a Shampoo?
Petunia: Wow, that explains a lot
Harry: You wanna know why Snapey is a beachball? Huh? Do ya! Do ya!
Dudley: I wanna know!
Harry: Its because................. his belly is like a beachball!
Vernon: Petunia, dear, I really think we should get him looked at
Harry: And when he jumps its just goes up and down and bounces around like 'ba-boing! Ba-boing! Ba-boing!' You know what I mean?
Dudley: No
Harry: Exactl-- I wonder if your belly goes Ba-Boing. Come here dudders *Sneaks closer with creppy look*
Dudley: *Shrieks. Runs away.*
Harry: Petuunnnnia dear! *Chases his aunt*
Owl: *Swoops in and poops on Harry's head*
Harry: AJDHAKMFbjsk dbrkkbdjkenabd! OWL POOOPIES!!!!! DIE OWL-MCBOWEL DIE!!!! I WILL KILL YOU AND THEN MAKE YOUR BELLY BOUNCE! BA-BOING BA-BOING BA-BOING *Runs after owl*
Vernon: He's crazy! That ruddy school has broken him!
Harry: *Jumps out window into Rose bush* *Dies* *Comes back to life and does the polka*
YOU ARE READING
High Harry
FanfictionHow would the infamous Harry Potter behave if he was high? What if the horcrux was 99.9% of his brain? This book is a collection of stupid and ridickulus things Harry Potter might do if he was completely stupid, which he sorta is since Hermione had...
