Love or Hate- A Jyrus Fanfic

XAN.

(Deleted last chapter. This one is starting out from Buffy crying. Beginning should be familiar but ending in completely different)

Buffy, what's wrong?" I asked, pulling her into a tight hug, feeling her chin come to a rest on my shoulder.

"I-it' s my mo-mom." Buffy managed to get out before breaking down, sobbing while collapsing on the floor, her back supported by the black-tiled wall. The wall was almost completely covered with dark marble, however the faint white lines that cut through the darkness managed to brighten up the space, even if only offering a meager amount of light.

Sitting down next to Buffy, I wrapped my arm around her, comforting her, waiting until she was ready to speak again.

Through soft sobs, she spoke in a low, barely audible voice.

"The army just called." She started, sniffling as tears ran down her cheeks. "She was supposed to come home this week. I guess she's in God's home now." Buffy finished, looking up towards the pearl white ceiling, contrasting with the dark-tiled walls.

"Buffy... I'm sorry." I said, pulling her into a tight hug, not letting go. Buffy cried against my shoulder, her face wet with streams of water.

"Buffy, we should get you home." I advised, helping her into her weak feet off of the cold marble floor.

"It's alright, I can go back by myself. I don't want to ruin your day." She said, trying to hide her face while wiping away the tear clogging her eyes.

"Don't worry about me." I said in a reassuring voice.

"It's not that, it's just that- that I kind of just want to be alone." Buffy explained, her face turned from me, hiding her tears.

"Alright, just know that I'll always be here. If you need anything just ask." I said supplying before pulling, once again, into a tight hug before she left.

The party continued on, well into the early morning hours, but I couldn't get my mind off of Buffy. If was almost as if she was broken. Buffy Driscoll, broken.

Leaving the bathroom, a wave of guilt splashed over my mind, soaking it in its corrupted waters. I could have done more. I should have done more. The thoughts pounded in my mind, burning and seering every nerve in my body.

Suddenly I felt two cold objects in the palm of my hand. They felt cold, as though possessing the ability to burn through skin in prolonged exposer. The objects felt heavy, as though to be as light as a feather. They felt safe, as though to induce harm.

One of the objects looked to be pills, one whiter than the heavens, whilst the other one resembled the redness of hell. The long, thin ovals of depressed euphoria stared up at me, seeming grinning back at face.

"Your supposed to eat it, not stare at it." Amber said, gigging as she stepped in front of me.

My fingers trembled as I brought the pills up to my mouth. Slowly i popped both into my mouth, swallowing them. I felt the pills traveling down my throat, burning the sides of my esshopgus as they passed into my stomach.

"Their, now you should feel better." Amber said, smiling before walking away.

Her smile stuck with me, however. If seemed genuine, as if she was actually telling the truth. Hell, maybe she was telling the truth. Maybe the pills did work.

That smile stuck with me for about fifteen minutes, until I started to feel numb. I was numb to my surroundings, numb to myself, numb to the pain. It felt like a rush without the fear. Without the excitement or anxiety. It was like an escape, but better.

The rest of the night passed by before my eyes as my mind left my body. I don't remember much from that night, but I do remember the feeling. The feeling of bliss.