South Park: Decent to Madness

Part 4: Stan's Secret (Kyle's POV)

It had been a few weeks since the beginning of school. Everything seemed to be going swimmingly so far. Stan, Kenny and I were doing just fine in our classes, Cartman was leaving us alone, and the teachers seemed to like us.

It was Tuesday on the third week of school, and the final bell had just rung. Kenny had basketball practice after school, and Stan had things to do with his family, so I was just walking home by myself. That is, until I heard some shouting from behind me. "Kyle! Wait up!" Wendy shouted. I stopped and turned to face her. She looked a little worn out. "What's wrong, Wendy?" She panted heavily. "Jeez...you're...a...fast...walker!" I grinned triumphantly. "That's cause I was on the track team last year, and-" "Yeah, yeah, you went to nationals and got first place. We all heard that story last year, and nobody wants to hear it anymore." She said, annoyed. An awkward silence hung over the air for a few seconds. I guess I was being a bit of a dick about it. "Anyway, I need to ask you something, Kyle. Have you noticed anything weird about Stan recently?" She asked. "Why do you care? I thought you hated Stan." I replied. Wendy shifted a bit, uncomfortably. "It's not that I hate him...It's just that he's caused so many problems for Token and I, and.." I glared at her. "It doesn't excuse what you posted about him last year. That was just so awful, Wendy. He was almost too terrified to go to school. He thought one of your Instagram followers might come and beat him up." Wendy sighed. "You're right. Why should you take my word for it? But if you really are worried about Stan, and if you want to know why he's been acting so weird lately, then hit me up." She said, and started to shuffle off. I looked down at the ground for a minute. "Wait. Why is he acting so weird?" I asked. Wendy turned around immediately. "I'm glad you asked. Stan usually acts like this when he's got something to hide, like a big secret he can't keep anymore. I should know, he cheated on me when we tried dating again back in our freshman year." I was confused. "What are you talking about? Stan has nothing to hide from me." She frowned. "That's what I thought too, but then he went on to make out with you like that." I shivered at the memory. "Hey, that was an accident! We didn't mean to do that..." My voice trailed off. Wendy scoffed. "Really? You call full-on french kissing in your underwear a mistake? That's it. If you're not gonna take me seriously, then I won't help you. Bye." Wendy said before stomping off. My face was flushed. "F-fine! I don't need you anyway. I'll figure it out on my own." I yelled at her. I trudged home, the weight of our conversation on my shoulders.

On my way home, I saw Cartman on the other side of the street, carrying what looked like a roast beef sandwich. I scoffed. What a fat asshole! He unfortunately spotted me, and crossed the street to meet with me. "Kyle! My bestest friend, how would you like to try this roast beef sandwich that I made on my own?" I tried to ignore him, but he didn't get the hint. "C'mon Kyle, it's delicious. You're gonna love it Kyle." He cajoled. I finally gave in. "Jesus Christ, Cartman! Can you not take a hint? I don't want you or your damn sandwich anywhere near me!" I yelled. Surprisingly, Cartman stepped back a bit. "Kyle, I swear to God, eat the damn sandwich!" He demanded. "Kenny took a bite of it, and he's fine. Don't be a pussy." I glared at him. "If I eat the sandwich, will you leave me alone?" I asked. He smiled. For once, it looked genuine. "Yes, I will. Just one bite, Kyle. Then, we'll be one in the same." He said in a low voice. I rolled my eyes and bit into the sandwich. It tasted fine, but the roast beef tasted a bit off. Other than that, it seemed to be fine. I gave the sandwich back to him. "Now you have to leave me alone." He smiled widely. "Sure, bestest friend." And surprisingly, he left me. I couldn't help but get a bad vibe from him. But, oh well. At least he was gone.

Once I got home, I decided to call Stan. I dialed his number. The phone rang once...twice...three times....jeez, what was taking so long? Stan usually picked up the phone super quickly. Finally, he picked up. "Stan?" I asked. "Huh? Who is this?" He said sounding a bit panicked. "Uh, It's me, Kyle." I said. "Oh, It's just you! Thank god. Uh, so uh, how's it going?" He asked. "That's what I was going to ask you. Why do you sound so weird? Are you alright?" I asked. Suddenly, a loud beep sounded over the phone, indicating an incoming call. "Oh shit..." Stan said. There was actual terror in his voice. It sent freezing-cold shivers down my spine. "Stan, is everything-" I wanted to ask, but the line cut off. I tried calling again, but the line was down and I had no way to get in touch with him. I decided I'd pay him a visit, just to make sure everything was ok.