Your Love Is Standing Next To Me

Chapter 18 - Thunderstorms

A ray of sun hit my face. I shivered. I opened my eyes. I was lying on cold white sheets next to some weird devices making strange repetitive noises. Hospital. So I wasn't dead after all. I heard voices approaching. I shut my eyes back.

- Sir, you should go and rest. We'll let you knows when she wakes up. a calm voice said. A doctor, I supposed.

- No, I'm ok. Alex's tired voice whispered.

- Please, I insist. We can bring you a couple more chairs if you want to remain in the same room as the patient.

- No, I'm ok. Honestly.

Alex, you stubborn! He mustn't have slept for... Well... 24 hours or so.

I wanted to open my eyes, but even though I knew that seeing Alex's face would be the best medicine I could've taken, I didn't want to dry up of words again.

Alex was playing passively with my fingers and stroking my hair and face. It gave me the same feeling as the sunlight gave me earlier. From time to time, he kissed my unable to move hand.

- You know... I feel very guilty for last night... he started.

No, Alex, it's not your fault! Stop doing this to yourself!

- It was only my fault. If I hadn't brought you to that stupid place, nothing of these would've happened. I understand if you'll want to go back to London now...

No, Alex! I want to remain with you! Forever!

- I'd never forgive myself if something bad happens to you, my love! he burst into tears. The doc... He said... You could never be able to say a word again! I swear, it's the worst thing I've ever heard! When he told me that, I wanted someone to kill me, I wanted to throw myself on the open window! But then I realised I didn't deserve that... To get rid of everything, of my guilty conscience... I had to remain alive and regret the moment I opened your the door of that fucking club for the rest of my bloody life! But you, my love... You deserve more! You've got a whole life in front of you! I love you too much...

A tear escaped my closed eyes. Alex wiped it immediately with a kiss.

- Please... I know the first thing you'll think will be how much you loathe me. And I don't blame you. I hate myself even more but... I know you won't give me a second chance but... I just wanted to thank you for everything... For the moments I will never forget, for everything you did to me... You changed me! And I love you! I adore you, my dearest Marie!

I was struggling to open my eyes drowned in salty tears. I eventually managed to focus on Alex's pale face in front of me. He embraced me and I discreetly breathed in his homely scent, now mixed with the hospital one.

He was as mute as I was. We looked into each other's eyes for what seemed an eternity. I drew an "I love you" with my lips, still incapable of saying a single word.

He started to kiss me desperately, with passion and hate. I was too exhausted to move my mouth, but he was as strong I knew he'd always been. My lips were trembling after being left alone.

The doctor came in.

- Look who just woke up! he exclaimed. How are you feeling?

I tried to fake a smile. I breathed heavily. He was on the verge of telling me I'd never be able to speak again. He started talking about my condition, about what had happened to me, a shock or something and a probable disease with a long name. It was between getting well in the next couple of days or being mute forever.

- Isn't there any medication? It can't end like that for her, doctor! Alex begged him.

- I'm afraid not. It's up to her if she finds the will to talk again. It's a psychical thing! Talk to her, convince her to say something... Right now, in her brain,...

- I don't need your medical explanation, doc! What are the odds?

- Im afraid I can't tell you anything for sure...

- Try! Al got angry.

I grabbed Alex's arm and put my finger on his lips. Shhhh...

- Fifty fifty... the doctor said quietly.

***

I told Alex about my band after the girls came to visit me one day. They told me we could still be "The Equatorial Penguins", we just had to look for another singer. Laura and the "Monkeys" were always present in my salon, trying to get my moral up. Everyone (including our band' fans) was bringing me flowers, presents and messages in the hope they could encourage me, but they couldn't make me speak or Alex feel better.

The apartment was exactly how I left it a couple days ago. Alex felt the need to hold my body, even though I assured him I could walk by myself. I had been miming and writing instead of speaking the last days, spent in hospital.

Alex was getting better and better at reading my lips.

- You have the same beautiful smile... He admitted when we entered the bedroom.

I made him a sign I was thirsty. He left me alone and went in the kitchen.

I locked the door the next second and started packing.

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Cliffhanger!!!! (Sorry about that)

Thanks for reading my story!!!!

Have a great day, little monkeys! ^.^