Do You Think I'm Okay? t.f. x reader

A/N: 10K Special

*Cue the panic attacks*

Me:
"Hmmm I wonder if I'm any closer to 10K?"
*sees 9.99K*
*throws myself off a roof like that one Kermit vine*

Me:
*reads through all the comments on the last chapter*
*sees how everyone's reacting to the reader now being with daniel*
*cringes because of all the heartbreak, drama, and feels that are about to happen*
*wants to apologize but fUCK THAT BECAUSE WE'RE GONNA CELEBRATE 10K AND THEN DIVE HEAD-FIRST INTO THE COLD DARKNESS OF DEPRESSION*

10K.
10K.
10
Fucking
K.

We did it guys-

No.

You did it.
All of you did it.

I wouldn't be anywhere near this absolutely astounding milestone if it wasn't for every. single. one. of. you.

I know in every chapter I rant about how much I love you guys, how much you all mean to me, blah blah blah.
But seriously guys.
Take a step back.
Look at where you guys brought me, this book, all of us to.

I'm in tears as I'm writing this.
It's absolutely breath taking.
I'm so confused as to why a low life girl like me, one with
•depression
•anxiety
•insecurities
•no writing ability
•no regular updating schedule
•no clear destination that this book is getting to-

It's all just a mess.
Me & this book.
It's so curvy and confusing and random.

I don't understand why anyone reads this book, or why anyone raves about it.
I don't know why I have such devoted fans who scream about each chapter in the comments.

All I know is:
We're here.

We're finally here.
10K.
The promised land that no one, especially not me, thought this book could get to.

And we're here.

Take a step back,
Take a deep breath,

We're here.

And I'm standing hand in hand with all of you.

Me- Basics
My name: J. Elise E.

My birthday: February 19th, 2004.

                 My gender: Female.

              My sexuality: Bisexual.

My birth-place: Tupelo, MS. USA.

My favorite color: Anything neutral.

My favorite animal: Marine life.

My favorite book: The Cursed Child by JK Rowling.

My favorite TV shows: Stranger Things, Sherlock, Shameless, or TEOTFW.

My favorite movies: IT, Shawshank Redemption, Hitman's Bodyguard, or anything Marvel.

My hobbies: Photoshopping, drawing, writing, eating, or watching Netflix.

My fears: The dark, the paranormal, abandonment, & the truth.

My favorite actors/actresses: Tom Holland, Tom Hiddleston, (basically the whole marvel cast), Benedict Cumberbatch, Martin Freeman, Tom Felton, (the whole HP cast), Finn Wolfhard, & (the whole ST & IT casts).

Favorite songs: (ATM)
Call Out My Name by The Weeknd, This Is A Man's World by James Brown, Feelin' Good by Michael Bublé, Heartbreaker by Paul Benetar, Why'd You Only Call Me When You're High? by Arctic Monkeys, and some others that I can't remember right now.

Favorite food: Pizza, sushi, French fries, anything chocolate or caramel, Starbucks, ice cream, and soda. (I'm really unhealthy)

Me- More Details
My parents are split. They were never married.
My dad is 55 and my mom is 52.

I have 4 siblings.
My siblings are along the range of 32-25. I'm the youngest. 14.
All of my siblings are half siblings. My 2 brothers have different dads, my sister and other brother have different moms.
My grandparents are dead on both sides.
I have a lot of cousins, 2nd cousins, etc.
but I'm not close with any of them because they never visit.

I live in Tennessee, USA.

I have around 6 dogs, 2 cats, a guinea pig, and a leopard gecko.

The woods are my home. I grew up in a place basically in the middle of nowhere. The closest town is 12 miles away. I love to spend my time walking through them. It's peaceful.

I love going to zoos or aquariums. Like I said, I love marine life.
The water and the fish that live in it are so colorful and graceful.

The Truth.
I have depression, anxiety, insecurities galore, suicidal thoughts, insomnia, self harming tendencies, etc.

I don't update a lot because I don't have any motivation, not just in writing, but in life as well.

My self esteem is 6 feet below the ground, I feel like I have no self worth.

I try to find happiness in characters, movies, tv shows, etc.

The thing I do the most is lie around in bed, doing nothing but sitting there, thinking.

I am my worst enemy.

But..

Then you guys came around.
Cheering me on, begging me for the next chapter.
Praising me for my sucky writing abilities.
Telling me how much you loved this story, how much you're obsessed with it.

Because of you guys, I haven't deleted every single one of my books.
I haven't given up on writing.
I haven't thrown my passion all away.
Because of you guys, I can find happiness again.

So now, every time I thank you guys..

When I say, "from the bottom of my heart, thank you"

Just know..

I'm being sincere.