Silent Torture

♠️12♠️

✡️Joslynn's POV✡️

"Breakfast was yummy!" Alisa complimented as she licked her lips.I smiled at her childishness and stared at my half eaten breakfast in front of me. I poked the pancakes with my fork and rested my head on my palm.

Ever since my conversation with Ace this morning, I felt a bit weak and sad. It hurt when the truth comes out, all these years I've known Joe to abuse me, I've never considered him my father and I almost forgot about him being my father too. I guess when Ace mentioned it to me, reality hit me and all the memories of my broken family came back into my mind. I couldn't do anything to change the past, and I regret not telling anyone about my problem. It was a mistake, a horrible mistake. Now, I'm paying for my mistake: living with years of abuse, the nightmares, knowing the unspeakable things he did to me, the fear that he's running free and might come after me.

"Jossy!" Alisa yelled and snapped her fingers. I blinked and looked at her in confusion. "I've been calling your name for that past two minutes."

"Sorry," I told her and sat up. "I was just thinking."

"I can tell," She chuckled, but she turned serious. "is everything okay?"

"Everything's fine." I told her with a fake smile. She knew I was lying.

"I think you should give her the letter." Ace said, he took a sip of his juice and relaxed into his chair.

"What letter?" I asked Alisa.

"Remember the letter the lady at the police station gave us?" I nodded. "Well, I might have...accidentally...maybe read it."

"That's alright." I told her and drank my juice. "My mother must've scribbled some pathetic excuse of why she abused me all these years."

"It is, but it has a reason for her death." She told me. She took a folded piece of paper out of her pocket and handed it to me. I slowly unfolded it and braced myself for the contents inside.

Dear Joslynn,

                            There are two reasons why I'm writing this letter: 1) I have to apologize and 2) you should know a shocking truth. Firstly, I want to tell you how sorry I am, it has broken my heart every time I've hurt you. I know, I've treated you unfairly and I abused you both physically and emotionally and it was probably because of me that you went mute, but I want to say I'm sorry. I am to blame for all of your problems, but I will tell you why I did all those things to you.

                              I was addicted to heroin and it made me do disgusting things, even hurting you. I had never thought that I, of all people, would be addicted to heroin but it happened. I don't recall when or how I was involved in it in the first place but I can tell you where and how I left it. I got help from a friend, I was clean for the first time in years. When my memories came to me, I was so angry with myself. I guess I hurt you because I had all this pent up anger in me, and I had no one at that time to help me get over it. I'm really very sorry for all I've done to you, I understand if you don't forgive me, I won't forgive myself.

                               There's also the shocking truth, that might hurt you. Recently, Joe and I were having some problems and well, he thought you weren't his biological child. I knew you were his child, but he wasn't satisfied, he wanted a paternity test. So, I had a sample of your blood and a lock of your hair, and Joe and I went for the paternity test. When the results came back, I was so shocked...you weren't his child, instead you were the child of the second man I married: Johnathon Nexlin. This story is kinda confusing so you have to keep track: I was having an affair with Johnathon when I was married with Joe, when I got pregnant with you, I thought you were Joe's child because me and Johnathon weren't sleeping at that time.

When me and Joe divorced, I got married to Johnathon, he knew you to be Joe's daughter, but he still loved you as his own. That's when we had your two siblings, the twins, we began having problems after they were born so we divorced and he took his kids. He wanted to take you, but he didn't have any legal rights over you. Then I took back Joe, he began doing drugs, and I think that's when I began the drugs. So you are indeed Johnathon's child and not Joe's. When Joe found out about this, he was furious. I'm so sorry...your life is a huge mess because of me. I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me. I love you Joslynn.

Love,
Mom.

The paper hung loosely from my hands as I stared in shock at the words. My mind began to race with questions and I felt as if I lost a piece of my identity. Joe wasn't my father, instead the man who I thought was my stepfather, is actually my real father! Why did my life have to be so confusing? Did I do something wrong that I deserved this torture?

"I hope that helped." Alisa placed her hand on my shoulder. "I also found this." She handed me neatly folded paper. I opened the paper to see the results of the paternity test. It had clearly stated that I wasn't Joe's daughter, but instead Johnathon's.

I barely remember Johnathon. All I know is that he was really nice to me, he was more of a father than Joe ever was. I'm sure he loved me more than my own mother. But what should I do now? Am I suppose to contact Johnathon Nexlin and tell him? Or was I just suppose to stay quiet and mentally curse my mother for being a wench?

"I think he has a right to know that you're his daughter." Alisa answered as if she were reading my thoughts. I nodded my head, and looked again at the letter.

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