Sorry Doesn't Fix Everything

Chapter 4: Regret

I swung open the door to my apartment and slammed the door shut behind me.

My heartbeat was out of control, my lungs were burning, my legs felt like jello and it felt like any minute now, I was gonna pass out.

I slowly moved into the bathrom, locking it shut behind me.

As soon as I closed the door, I fell to the ground.

The current events hitting me even harder then before.

All the gut wrenching screams of agony that erupted from and the girls as I killed them played in my head like a broken record. And the vision of blood pouring out of each and every single one of them-

I gripped the toilet and let out all that remained in my stomach.

"Jade!" My mom yelled as she banged on the flimsy white door, "What the fuck are you doing in there!?"

I wiped the hot tears that ran down my cheeks and took a shaky breath, trying to calm my nerves before answering.

"I don't feel good. Can you get me some gravol-" My stomach lurched and I threw up again, but instead, blood this time.

"Holy shit kid, what the fuck did I tell you about drinking!?" Her voice became faint as I heard her footsteps pad towards the kitchen.

I rested my head on the cold white tiled walls taking shaky breaths.

I never was and never will be the type of person to drink.

After the scarring incident that happened to me when I was twelve is still crystal clear.

My mother had gotten drunk after my father and her seperated and I was the only one home with her at the time. She had gotten so heavily intoxicaged that she was no longer able to have the right sense of mind.

And it was dangerous to have her like that.

I remember... she was trying to play fight with me by nibbling my sides. But her nibbles turned into hard bites that had me screaming and running away from her. At the time I had a friend who let me spend the rest of the night at her place... her name was Lilly... Yes... the same Lilly I killed today.

If it wasnt for her, I would've been taken away by childrens aid.

And what do I do in return, as a thanks?

I take her life.

Cause thats the kind of sick person I am.

The loud banging of my mom hitting the door, snapped me out of my thoughts, "Open the door." Her voice was calm.

I rose to my feet to open the door, the last thing I saw was my mom opening the door before I blacked out.

°•°•

When I opened my eyes, the sun was peeking through my curtians and shining on my eye lids.

I rolled to my side and checked the alarm clock. It was 7:45, meaning I still had time to get to school.

My head was pounding and my mouth was dry and had the faint tate of blood.

I brang my hands to my face to rub my eyes and thats when my mom walked in.

Her hair was up in a bun, she was actually wearing appropriate clothing and she had a concerned look on her face, "Jade, How are you feeling?" She came and sat the the foot of my bed.

I gave her a thumbs up and laid my head back onto the pillow.

Then, her mood changed completely.