[1] The Healer || Halfdan ✔

Chapter 20: Goodbye

Fear and guilt welled up inside Hedvig, seeing Halfdan getting hurt was shocking and she froze in her place. The battle raged around her, blood everywhere. Her breathing was uneven and everything seemed to move in slow motion. A viking bumped into her, while attacking the next enemy and she snapped out of her daze.

Without a second thought she moved closer to Halfdan, eager to help him. She didn't pay attention to her surrounding as she fell to her knees next to him. The arrow pierced through his chest, just above his heart and this truly frightened Hedvig, she never treated a wound this fatal, worry filled her, what is she won't be able to save him?

After feeling her presence next to him, Halfdan looked up to her face, seeing her concerned expression, he couldn't help but let a small smile spread across his lips.

"Don't worry darling, if the Gods planned my death then I will die, if not then I will live." he said, but this just angered her. No, she thought, it's not on the Gods to decide his fate, it's on him and her, because she won't let him die.

"No, I will save you" she voiced her opinion with fire he has never seen before in her eyes. Hedvig collected her thoughts and all of her knowledge and sprung into action. Seeing two vikings nearby she barked at them "Come here and help", they obeyed without a question as they picked up Halfdan and dragged him back from the platform to the ship, Hedvig closely followed them. The battle was coming soon to an end and it was clear the vikings were losing, but right she didn't care about the fight.

The two vikings lowered Halfdan to the ground in the back of the ship and rushed back to the battle. There were other injured warriors in the back, some already dead, but she only concentrated on him as she collected a few rags and a buckle of water and searched for herbs in her purse. The first thing and the hardest to remove the arrow and she knew it will hurt as hell. She had to pierce through the arrow his shoulder. Her hand ghosted over the arrow, she was unsure in herself, if she could do it and Halfdan noticed this.

"Do it, don't think just do it, I will be fine" he reassured her and she needed that. Hedvig nodded, grabbed the arrow and one swift movement pushed it further into his shoulder until the arrowhead came out the other side. She quickly broke down the end of the arrow and pulled out the remaining half. Halfdan suffered the whole procedure with gritted teeth. Hedvig cleaned up the wound, treated it with ointments and bandaged his shoulder. Halfdan was watching her every move silently until she finished.

"What?" Hedvig asked when she noticed his gaze.

"You look beautiful" he stated with a cocky smile.

"That must be the blood loss" Hedvig chuckled "You just halucinate" Helfdan smirked at her and was about to answer her, but shouts interupted him.

"RETREAT! Retreat!" This was it, Hedvig thought, they lost. Her smile faltered and she stood up to help the retreating vikings.

Hedvig was tending the injured, but her thoughts were far away. She couldn't stop thinking about that it was her fault that Halfdan got hurt and they lost the battle. She wasn't good enough to be a shieldmaiden, that was clear for her now, at least she was a better healer.

***

The travel back to Kattegat was uneventful and that left Hedvig alone with her thoughts most of the time. She was thinking about what she should do when they get back. She was a good healer, but not good enough, she needed training and she must let her dream to became a shieldmaiden go. She decided, she found her new goal, she will become the best healer in Kattegat.

Arriving back to the city where this journey started months ago, was a relief, Hedvig was tired and she wanted to be alone, really alone, not just in her head. The life on the ship started to suffocate her and she was more than grateful to back on the ground again.

However being back in Kattegat meant King Harald would leave soon. And along with his brother Halfdan would leave too. Their departure was scheduled the next day and they were ready to go home, but there something Halfdan had to do before he left.

Hedvig enjoyed her alone time in her old home, just outside Kattegat, but it wasn't enough, she needed something else, after the raid she changed and she couldn't stay in the bustling city. She needed to leave to find herself and become a better person. So when Ragnar ask her to accompany him, she said yes. She was ready to leave, packed everything, but she needed to visit her favourite place before she left.

Hedvig slowly walked to the coast near to the docks and sat down in the sand. She loved to be here and watch the tides washing the beach. She sighed and closed her eyes, she will miss this, she thought as the salty smell of the sea reached her nose. Steps snapped her out of her thoughts, when she looked up she saw Halfdan approaching her. He sit down next to her and they sat their in silence for a while. The silence wasn't uncomfortable at all, it was familiar for both of them and calmed Hedvig down. Halfdan was the first to talk.

"We are leaving tomorrow" he said matter of factly, just to start a conversation.

"I know" Hedvig answered still not looking his way, but she could feel Halfdan's eyes on her. "How is your shoulder?" she asked trying to avoid the question she feared he will ask.

"It's fine" he looked back to the water, silence coming over them again. "Hedvig" he started again "Come with us. Come with me" here it was what she feared. Hedvig looked at Halfdan again and their eyes met and it was really hard for her to say the next words.

"I can't, Halfdan, I am really sorry, but I have to go somewhere else. I feel like I lost myself in France and now I have to find it again." Her pained expression was something he never wanted to see again. When tears started to fell from her eyes, he put his arm around her shoulder and pulled her closer. "I am sorry" she whispered into his shoulder.

"Shh...darling, don't worry, if the Gods want it we will meet again" he mumbled. Hearing this brought a smile to her lips and she lent back, so she could look at Halfdan.

"Thank you Halfdan" she smiled at him and his heart fluttered, he liked to see her happy. They were looking at each other again and Hedvig couldn't help herself, but lean closer, her eyes fixed on his lips. Halfdan noticed where her gaze wandered and meet her halfway as their lips crashed together. The kiss was slow and tender, but still full with passion. Her arms sneaked around his neck and his hands pressed against her back, pulling her as close as he could. Both of them knew they shouldn't go further, but neither of them had the strenght to stop it. Hedvig pulled back her head first, she had to do it while she could. They still stayed close, panting from the feelings both of them felt. Hedvig started to stand up from the sand and Halfdan followed her.

"Goodbye, Halfdan" she said quietly, pecking his lips one more time.

"This is not a goodbye Hedvig, we will meet again" he sounded so sure as he tucked her hair behind her ear.

"I really hope you are right" she smiled at him one last time and turned around to leave. She wasn't leaving behind just Halfdan, but Kattegat, and her old life. Halfdan watched her retreating figure.

"I know we will" he whisered to himself as Hedvig left his eyesight.

-°- End of Book 1 -°-