Sunshine ( Matthew Espinosa FanFic ) ♡

Chapter 21: Night + A/N

 It's past midnight and I can't sleep. Tonight nobody came in to my room to see if I was ' okay ' because I told them not to. The doctors say that I need to go to bed earlier and sleep as much as I can. Well you only live once right. I smile at my own stupid joke, people usually accuse me for joking around about the cancer. They say it's serious and all that jazz. Well I don't care anymore, I have nothing to lose anyways.

It's dark in my room and I lift my body up from the bed without seeing anything. I pull my blanket away and finally get up. Everyone are sleeping so I slowly sit down right under my window. Everything is so quiet and calm- well except for my mind that's causing me sleeplessness. Maybe it's that I'm excited for tomorrow because Matt is finally coming back to Virginia. I sit with my knees so close to my body that I can press my forehead against them. I'm bored to death and I just stare out from the window. The stars look pretty bright tonight. 

Sometimes I wonder if my mom is watching me. I will never forget her face, her smile, her green eyes or the way she said my name. I will never forget how she held my hand when I was visiting her at the hospital. Who would've known I'd follow her so soon? Soon I won't be here anymore, it's doesn't really scare me though. 

It's really dark outside, I lean my head against the window holding my arms around my legs. Soon a car light appears on the road. I lift my head and follow the light with my eyes. The car parks right in front of our house. I'm trying to see who is it but it's too dark. I press my fingers against the window. She or he is getting out from the car and walking to our house. I hear someone moving inside of our house and opening the door for the visitor. I'm curious who it might be. I go back to my bed and hear footsteps behind my door, I patiently wait sitting legs crossed under the covers. The handle slowly moves and someone peeks inside. I recognize the big brown pair of eyes that are quietly observing the room since it's so dark. I have the widest smile on my face and I move on top of my bed covers. Matt closes the door behind him trying to be as quiet as possible and I jump crossing my arms around his back. He turns around and our lips touch. 

"Darn Mia! I wanted to surprise you! " He says being upset because his master plan didn't work out. I laugh and Matt drops his bag on the floor, lifts me up holding me from my tights and kisses my lips softly. 

"You did. I'm so happy you came early because I couldn't sleep alone. " I hold his face closer to mine. I slightly move my fingers around his perfect face. He moved his hand on to my torso and it made me shiver. I closed my eyes and chuckled.

"What? " Matt asked with a smile. I hide my face behind my sleeves and start to giggle.

"It's just that you give me goosebumps when you touch me like that. " 

Matt looked me his eyes wide open and started to laugh, then he came closer and kissed my lips still laughing.

"You're so cute Mia when you try to hide that adorable laugh of yours. "

"Stop Matt! " I laugh even more and fall on to my back, rolling on to my side and hiding my face in to the blankets. Matt pulled me into a hug and I hide my face being unable to control my laughter. 

The room is quiet and the only thing lighting it are the fairy lights on my walls. I could hear his heartbeat and being in his arms feels too good to describe. It's like laying down in a field filled with roses or sleeping under the warm sunset on a beach. I slid my hand up and down on his back and I can hear his heavy breathing. That's the thing about Matt, he's so special and I can't let go of him. 

"I hope this moment could last forever. " He whispered. I kiss his jawline and press my nose against his warm cheek.

When I start to feel something that's good, something that makes me happy I get a little alert yelling- you're not happy, things are going to get a bad turn and the last thing in my mind is ' you're dying ' . It's like every time I kiss Matt a thought pops into my head that I'm not able to kiss him forever and I am the one leaving his heart broken. Or every time I'm tired and I jump under my cool blankets I remember, this might be your last night- there is a chance that your'e not going to see the next morning. Or every time I get this feeling like now I'm really happy- somebody reminds me like no you're not, you have cancer. I don't enjoy life like I used to.

This is one of those moments.

Yes I'm happy with Matt right next to me but now I remember. He's here to check up on me, just like Mariel said. This is actually pretty weird. I know I'm a little crazy but I guess it's okay since, well, I'm going to be dead soon.

Matt is staring at my face and asks me,

"What's wrong? "

I turn my head and look at him.

"Nothing? " 

"No, something's up Mia. I can see it. "

I'm battling between should I tell him or not. I decide to ask him the truth.

"Are you staying over night just to 1. Check if I'm still alive in the morning or 2. Because you wan't to make a dying girl happy? " 

Okay so maybe it came out pretty straight but I feel like lying and painting a pretty picture here is just waisting time- and well I don't have any spare time to waist so. Matt has this serious look on his face, he didn't answer to me for a good minute.

"Why do you think that? It's neither one Mia. I'm staying because I've missed you and I love you. Simple." He didn't smile anymore but he isn't mad neither, he's more like sad and confused. "I care about you. "

"You care about me? I've just got used to that nobody cares about me you know. " 

"I don't. Explain. " He required me. 

"You want to hear the full story? " I asked him and lifted my eyebrows. He nodded. "Okay here we go. " 

" My father is nowhere to be found, even the social workers couldn't reach out to him. My two sisters Lisa and Tris haven't even called me since our mom died. They didn't even come to her funeral witch my grandmother and aunt Cherr planned. My mom had two sisters, Darlene and my other aunt Cherr. Nobody really wanted me you know- first they called my sisters, Lisa is 2 years older than me so she just turned 18. She lives in London and is studying there. Tris is traveling with her boyfriend doing freelance dancing so they can't take me, plus they both are still pretty young and I would just hold them down, " I'm telling the story to Matt.

"Then they called my grandmother. She's too old for taking care of me and she actually refused to take me in. She's like 85 years old plus she never even liked me...  Next was Cherr. She has 4 kids of her own and she said that she doesn't need another emotional mess in her life since she's also having hard time because of my mothers passing. Basically she called me an emotional mess. Like I'm sorry my mom died right? Cherr is living in Finland so they thought it would be the best choice for me. Well, aparently not and luckily Darlene took me in. She's really an angel who saved me from the orphan home. She got really pissed at Cherr and my grandmother. " I continued, 

"So nobody really wanted me when my mom died, not even my own family. I guess that was pretty rough for me. "

Matt looked at my eyes with no emotion. Then he came closer and kissed my lips for a good 2 minutes. 

"I can't explain how much I care about you Mia. And I'm more than happy to call you mine, don't you forget that, alright? "I slightly nod.

I give him a little smile with tears in my eyes, I'm happy he didn't say anything like ' I'm sorry for your loss ' or - that's a sad story. I get that a lot and all I want is to know that someone's there for me. Because saying something like ' I'm sorry about that ' sounds more like hey I'm sorry but there's nothing I can do about it.

I fell into a deep sleep in his warm arms knowing he's here with me.

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( A/N ) Hey guys <3 Thank you all for reading like seriously your votes and reads mean more than you think for me. Yeah I know I say it alot but I really mean it!  Three thousand reads is just awesome! As some of you maybe know, I'm at the hospital right now and I don't know how long will I be here in... Come and message me, I'm super down right now but your comments, votes and reads really cheer me up :) I have some issues with my blood. Byt yeah I love you guys, I'll update again as soon as possible. ( I love writing this story and I have a vision in mind! ) xx