The Fault in Our Infinities

Chapter 5: Truths Untold

Augustus doesn't spend long with the other Vapid Girls. They sulk as he shrugs off their offers to dance again, and shoot me sour glares when he strides over to me.

"You've been sat there all night." He notes, sitting beside me.

"Shouldn't I?" I say, patting my hay bale. "It's comfortable."

"You came to a barn dance."

"I can't dance." I point out and I see a flicker of a smirk cross his face before he adopts a serious expression.

"Well, then I think you'll have to leave."

"Augustus," I say solemnly. "You cannot kick someone out of a party that you're not even hosting."

"Damn," He sighs dramatically. "And I thought it was socially acceptable."

"There is nothing about you that is socially acceptable."

He grins, acknowledging my words. "You're not even enjoying yourself, are you?"

"I am!" I protest. "I like watching people."

"Creep."

"Augustus Waters!" I half-shout, exasperated. "Why do I get the feeling that nothing I ever say will be good enough for you?"

He doesn't reply. Instead, he says, "I'm not doing my job properly if you're not having fun."

"I am-"

"Look me in the eye and tell me that this is the best party you've ever been to – imaginary or real."

I bite my lip and look away. "I've never been to another party."

"I did specify that it could be imaginary."

When I don't say anything, he throws his hands up. "Exactly my point." He stands and offers me his hand. "Come on."

"I can't dance." I say it slowly, like I am speaking to a four-year-old, because I have told him the same thing several times tonight.

"With them." He agrees, nodding to the crowd of people that all dance together, clapping their thighs and swinging invisible lassos over their head. "But you can dance with me."

I freeze, staring at his feet. He's wearing brown ankle boots and they actually suit him. "Why would you want to do that?"

"Questioning my motives only delays the inevitable." He takes my hand, pulling me up against my will. I tip my head back and sigh, giving in.

He takes my hand and turns me around, and I have no choice but to take my tank with me, else I risk getting caught up in my oxygen tubes. We dance together, clapping in time with the beat. After a while, people begin to watch us and I know that they are secretly judging. He's dancing with her because she's sick. He feels sorry for her.

But I know that's not true. Augustus Waters dances with me because he promised to help me see the wonders of life. To see the passion, the fire, the sheer joy of human beings. He dances with me to prove to the others that cancer does not define me. That I am Hazel Grace Lancaster. Just Hazel Grace Lancaster. I'm not my cancer, and my cancer is not me.

It's easy to ignore the rest of the crowd when I look at Gus. He encompasses my whole vision, until I see nothing but his blue eyes, his confident smirk. He holds me gently, but firmly, like he's afraid of letting me go. He accepts that if I move, my tank comes with me. And he doesn't care that the other girls are jealous, that they're staring at me as if I am vermin. Augustus Waters pays them no attention, and for the first time, I feel special, wanted. I feel the pride that comes with having the most popular, coveted boy genuinely want to spend time with me. Want to see me smile.