Slowly my shaking hand removes the shirt that's no longer clean so I can set it in the laundry basket. "I'm really sorry princess." I look at the fear still evident in her eyes, she's never gasped like that before, she's never looked so nervous around me, she's never had so much emotion in one single look. If this would've happened three weeks ago she would've been all over me, she would've loved it. The universe had a different path in mind when he threw this curveball at us. I love Ecstasy I wouldn't trade him for anything, he was always a plan he just wasn't supposed to be here yet. "I'm gonna take a shower," I'll let the hot water burn the humiliation away. I'll let it cascade my body and rid me of all of the bad I've done to my poor sweet girl today. Paparazzi are normally very discrete and tonight at dinner everyone was everywhere and there were lots of flashing cameras. Ecstasy wailed and Mel wouldn't sit properly because she didn't want to be ridiculed.
"I wanna join you." She stands grabbing my hand softly. She presses a quick kiss against my cheek and then gives me a reassuring smile. "I just got scared." She looks down and the horror returns, it's not to fluid I've emitted it's where it came from. She doesn't like it when I'm naked, I can't be naked around her at all. I have to have something covering my junk or she'll scream. She just doesn't understand why I look so different then she does.
"You'll get scared again sweets I know you will," I press a soft kiss against her forehead. Nothing hurts me more in this world than knowing how afraid she gets when I'm near. "Just lay in bed." I kiss her gently pulling my pants off. "I'll be there soon." She gives a soft nod she has nothing to argue for she just doesn't want me to feel bad, she was mortified. She wanted me to send her back out to bed, she didn't want to shower with me. I invite her constantly, I offer to cuddle her in her baths, and I try little by little everyday to introduce her to the differences between men and women. She's just so innocent and easily frightened that I can't. "What are you doing?" I give a gasp when she sits down on the bathroom floor, there's not a lot of bathroom space but she's comfortable enough, she'll wait.
"I wanna try and sit here, I'm gonna watch." I groan again, we're here because she was watching me in the first place. She just stared at me all night in fear of being attacked, sexualized, and made fun of. My problem is that she's gorgeous. She was talking to me about dying her hair, she wanted to go red and the second she did she laughed about how everyone would really suspect that they're dating, she probably won't get to dying it for a while though.
"I'm all done in here sweetie pie." I pull at the glass door of our shower. The sweet girl stares with much intensity, not at my but at the foreign object hanging from my body. I think it's cute she just wants to know what it is. She watches a lot of animal planet she's started to at least. She just sees my junk as a tiny elephant trunk. It kind of underwhelming to her because of what she thinks it is but it'd be overwhelming to anyone else, I'd hope so at least. "Let's go cuddle," I grab her hand and lead her off. I feel like this whole mess is my fault, she liked me when we met that day in the hospital but she never liked me that much, she would've never thought about having kids with me, or having this kind of life. She was a simple girl, she's not to simple anymore.
"I love to cuddle!"
...
"You Take Ecstasy." I smile at her while we sit in the car Geoff and Scott are taking bags for us from the back seat, Jill and Nathan are helping too, they both felt that they should be around to help and I appreciate it. Jill plays drums in her spare time so she could be a great help and Nathan will always watch Mel for me. His car seat and carrier are on the plane, the private plane that Ben insisted on giving her. It was her push present from Ben, I wanted to get her so many things and she refused every single one of them. I tried to buy her a car but she didn't want it, I wanted to get her a bigger house she refused that as well, I went to jewellery from the best jeweller I know and she said she didn't want it. She did however make me a sign a piece of paper which she wrote on stating that I would never leave her because of the baby, and the extra attention she now needs. I wanted to marry her, I was gonna propose and I asked Ben for his blessing, he told me I would always have it but that I needed to wait. I wont do it unless Ben is around, and I won't do it if anything time wise seems off. "I'll get the bags baby, don't worry." She nods letting me grab all of the bags. She holds the baby, he's so little so calm and little and sweet. I can see out of the corner of my eyes a man with a camera but unless Melanie sees him we'll be fine.
"Someone doesn't like the sun," She smiles kissing our boys head. "No?" She giggles kissing his cheek. "No?" She gives a baby like gasp only to excite him. "Ecstasy likes the shade." She giggles turning to face me. She holds his head down against her shoulder, now there's less light to bother him.
"Thank you." I smile while people take the bags, go knows where they're going but they took them for me. I watch her take them into the plain, maybe on our seats? "My two babies." I smile kissing Mel's head before sending her on the plane. She'll get herself and Ecstasy ready, I have to get everything else ready.
"Do you wanna hold him?" She still feels bad about everything that's gone on, she just wants to give me everything that this point in time.
"Don't you want to?" She shakes her head softly. She's afraid too, and if Ecstasy needs something she's not sure she'll be able to give it to him because of her fear of flying. She developed it when I told her I had an album to write.
"I think you should," She gives a nod and I smile. My lips press gently against her temple and she lay against my shoulder. I give her cheek a soft kiss. "I love you." She whispers making me smile she hasn't really said it in a while.
"I love you too." I give her another soft sweet kiss watching her drift off. "I love you too."
