I kiss her hand softly I can't tell where I need to be more. Melanie's dying but Ecstasy is in pain. There was an accident, their plane made it up and then fell right back down. Ecstasy broke three ribs and has a minor concussion, Melanie is missing a part of her skull and had to have one of her legs amputated. She isn't looking too good. "Ecstasy's about to go down for surgery?" Ben nods, he'll pull the plug on Mel the second I leave. "I figured you'd wanna see him off?" They stand outside of the door with my poor little boy, he looks like he's in so much pain that I couldn't even start to say how horrible I feel. He didn't deserve this he's so little he never deserved this.
His little hand hangs over the side of the tiny crib thug they've got him in. I can't stop my tears, he's unconscious laying in a glass crib unable to move. I can't see a single sign of life in his face all I see is pain and his eyes aren't even open. "Take him down," Ben instructs. "Bring him back when he's out of surgery." They're in so much pain, both of them and I have no idea what to do. They didn't deserve this, it should've been me. "You sit with her." Ben nods helping me into the bed next to her, they might be the ones suffering real pain but it feeling intense emotional pain right now. I couldn't even see Ecstasy through all of the tears. "If any of hers or Ecstasy's doctors come in you press this button and I'll come back." I kiss her cheek staring at her, she must be in so much pain. She must be so confused and angry and she must be in a world of pain. I can only imagine what she's gonna have to go through when she wakes up. I'll be there for all of it, I want to try and feel her pain, I only have a month left to get this album finished though, and I don't know how I'll do it. I might have to cancel the tour.
"Can you bring me to my son?" I smile weakly at a doctor who looks confused by my question. "His name is Ecstasy, he's seven weeks old?" I nod and then so does she.
"Your son is still in surgery it's a long process and it could still be hours until he's out and stable enough for visitors." I give a sad nod walking back to Mel. I kiss her soft cheek. "Your wife however is doing great." The doctor smiles reading her chart. Nathan sends her out the second he arrives. I don't want to talk to these people and I don't need them talking to me.
"Can we please just be alone?" I growl to every person trying to enter. I want to cuddle her, and kiss her wounds, I want to help her get better though I know that she probably won't. "If there weren't tunes in your mouth I would kiss you." I hum kissing her temple. She gags and the nurses come running.
"She's off the ventilator." One nods making me smile while I press a gentile kiss against her lips. My head leans against hers, softly. "You're doing great princess, so great." I hum giving her another kiss. "You're doing so well." I nod hugging her softly. I worry about her condition when she does wake up, will she remember me, will she be all confused all of the time, Will she know what's going on? What version of er will she be? Will she be the old her, or the one that she was this morning, or a completely new Mel that I'm gonna have to learn how to care for. I love her regardless, she's always got the Melancholy that I fell in love with somewhere and I won't ever let that go.
...
I hold Ecstasy walking him slowly to his mamas room, they told me that he's all good, pretty much completely ready to go so we're going to visit Mel. "You can't go in right now," Ben explains smiling at my baby boy. He touches the child's hand while he sleeps. "She woke up in a panic they're trying to explain to her the events and otherwise." I can hear her scream and cry and while Ben looks calm I'm everything but. The steady pattern of my own heart beat elevates to what I would imagine to be the same as hers. Ecstasy jumps in fear by the sudden peak of both of our heart rates. He still has a baby bond with his mama and every time she gets nervous so does he.
"Where's my baby? My baby was on that plane!" She screams and I reach for the doorknob. Ben steps in front of it. The pain I feel couldn't be half of what her and Ecstasy have gone through but I've never felt anything so intense.
"She's ready now." A nurse nods at the two of us, smiling at my sight. "She'll be happy to see you." Ben enters slowly and she sighs of relief.
"They took my leg Ben, it's gone." She sobs against her brothers shoulder searching for the comfort I wish I could give her. I would cut my leg off to make her happy, I would cut off my arm if it made her feel better and that's my whole career. "And I haven't seen Ecstasy, I don't know where he is." Ben moves slightly and she catches a glimpse of me and the baby boy. She instantly pushes Ben away and takes me me into her arms.
"Hi princess." I smile kissing her head. I wonder how much she remembers, which Mel I'm gonna be dealing with this time, which one I'm gonna love, which one I'm going to marry.
"My boys, my perfect boys." She lays her head on my shoulder. "How are you?" My eyes shut and I bury my face in her hair. "How was New York?" She hums. I get my Melanie, my first Melanie and I love them all but this Melanie was the one I loved first.
"It was beautiful," I kiss her forehead. I'll go along with it, I'm sure that's what they want me to do, I don't know what I say about Ecstasy though.
"Hi baby." She smiles kissing his temple taking him from my arms and laying back. "Come cuddle with us," She seems to have some foreign memories of what we do or did as a family and I want to live up to those expectations.
"I can't wait to bring you home." I kiss her cheek holding her in my chest. She's been hiding herself under the blankets the whole time. I know she's missing a leg but I don't think she knows that I do. She's afraid of loosing me over something so simple and stupid, though it may seem different to her her legs were never the reason I loved her.
"I can't wait to go home." She sighs laying herself in my chest. They were out there alone for six hours. They were found and brought here before I got called. I was heading home, I was driving to our condo when I got the call. "How long until I get to go home?" She looks around but all eyes eventually land back on Ben.
"Soon, I promise." He nods he doesn't want to let her down or get her hopes up and I understand the urge to keep her sane. I feel like I'm not allowed to let her hold Ecstasy or even be this close to her but she wants to be held. I don't want to say no.
"Did you get the new record deal?" She hums against my chest laying herself on top of me. She's so tired. I understand her being exhausted even after hours and hours of sleep.
"Let me take the baby first." I smile hoping that we don't crush him or anything of the sort. Once he's asleep right in front of his mama and I'm certain all is well I answer her question. "I got the record deal." I whisper earning a soft nod and a sweet smile.
"That's great babe." She nods leaning up for a kiss in celebration.
"Sweet dreams." I smile giving her another kiss. "I love you." I smile and she squeezes my hand as a response. "I love you so much."
