I have him and Mel seated exactly where they wanted to be so they can see perfectly. They got to pick where they wanted to sit and so they've been moving throughout my soundcheck. Ecstasy hates when she moves at all because he just wants to listen to the songs. All of the songs I'm playing are his songs. They're his favourites and that's how they make it onto the album. His absolute favourite songs I keep for putting him to sleep but everything else goes on the album. If my baby boy can't fall asleep to the song, or dance with his mama when I play it then to me it's not worth it. He's my only critic. "You sounded great!" Mel smiles handing me a water bottle. I have so many of them all over really. She keeps them for me and Ecstasy runs them over every time he thinks I might want one.
"Thanks love." I smile kissing her softly. She's an angel and I love her to death. As my assistant she knew more about my life then I did and now as a mom and my girlfriend she's so supportive and sweet, she loves me so much and I love her too. She spends all of her time doing things that she used to do as my assistant without noticing it. My label wants to hire her as my assistant again but I forgot to tell her. I will later though, maybe when we're laying in bed. Once the show ends we usually spend a little bit of time in my dressing room. We'll drink some wine and talk, I'll go through my Instagram and I'll check twitter while listening to Mel express how much she enjoyed it. I'll cuddle Ecstasy and lay down with him for maybe forty five minutes and then we'll head back to our hotel. Ecstasy is always warn out by then and it's easy to get him to sleep then me and Mel can cuddle and watch our Netflix show until she falls asleep too.
"We have about an hour or two before the show and I just sent Lindsay out for some food." Lindsay is my current manager and she's very sweet. She loves Mel and Ecstasy so much and Mel loves her too. "We'll eat and then I'll be on." I chuckle kissing my girlfriend again. We'll be married soon. We need to plan the wedding still but we will be married.
"I could've gone out to get food." She shakes her head at me for having sent Lindsay. She's such a sweet girl that she volunteered to head out so I could be with my family.
"I wanted to spend time with you." I lead her to my dressing room. Ecstasy has a lot of things in here too. Places laugh at me when I request a baby swing and baby teething crackers. It makes me angry but I also don't care, as long as I get what I've requested I'll be fine.
"Sweet." She giggles pressing her lips against mine. "Maybe tonight we can do a little more than just watch the movie." She giggles. I kiss her forehead and smile holding her close.
"For now, I have to get ready for my meet and greet." I chuckle squeezing her. "Can I bring Ecstasy?" I smile holding him tight.
"We can both go." She rolls her eyes. "I'll stand with your friends." She presses a kiss against my lips while we wait for Jake to come and get us. Him and Mel still aren't the best of friends but they're getting along better which is all I really ask. I love watching them argue and bicker though I think it's funny.
"Shawn, let's go." Jake points and I nod lifting my happy little boy into the air. He giggles when I throw him. "Are you ready?" He pokes his head in looking at all of the people sitting patiently.
"Yeah." I smile kissing my sons head. Mel smiles at us. It took some time last night but I finally managed to get used to the idea of having my baby out there in the world. I let the world know that I had a baby I just didn't want them to know everything. They ended up knowing the most traumatic part making it harder for me to want to show him off. I was worried of how the world would react, he's so small and he looks unhealthy but he's perfectly fine. And he's happy. He was just born with some defects. He's perfect to us but everyone else thinks he's weird or malnourished. "Hello everyone."
...
"Goodnight sweetheart." I smile playing with his hair. Mel loves his hair, she brags about how perfect it is. It's soft and fluffy and a little bit curly but it's so short still that we can't tell. Still she likes to say that it's curly because she loves curly hair!
"Goodnight lovely." She holds him a little longer just so that he doesn't wake up when she leaves him on the second bed in our room surrounded by pillows. I have to chain lock the door and put a chair in front of it most nights just to make sure that he's alright. I still get nervous about being in hotels with him but he's such a good boy that most days he just comes to get his cuddles.
"It's my turn to get all of the cuddles." I smile holding my arms open. She gives the best cuddles, that's why Ecstasy loves them so much. I can't explain it, I don't understand it, but I won't question it. There's something calming about holding her in my arms and kissing her. It melts all of my worries, it's what she does when I'm mad at her or anything else. She just knows what to do and how to do it.
"Yes it is." She smiles kissing me gently. "Now you get all of my love." She chuckles leaning against my shoulder. She never ended up loosing or even caring about the weight that she put on after Ecstasy. She still loves her bikinis and her body. He's body is something she's very proud of, every scar, every stretch mark, every freckle, every little bit of extra skin she loves it. Her body is important to her and it's important that if me or anyone else doesn't like it that they remove themselves from her life. If we go to the beach and she gets weird stares she gets weird stares but when someone comes up to tell her how inappropriate it is for her to wear a bikini to the beach she gets mad. She doesn't think it's anyone else's right to pay attention to her wardrobe choices, or to her body, or to the bikini that she wants to wear. She's really an admirable woman and she's all mine.
"Lucky me." I smile pulling out my laptop. We don't do tons of couply things anymore. We go on dates, we cuddle, we have a healthy sex life to some extent, and we're happy but we don't get to have all sorts of freedom. We don't get the choice to stay out until five in the morning because we feel like it, we don't get to sleep naked on the couch, or come home drunk. I can barely get her to have sex with me. She's had very low sex drive since Ecstasy, and she's very careful too. She started taking the pill, and making me wear condoms, sometimes she makes me pull out. She doesn't want to have to go through something like that again. It was traumatic enough once but more than that might kill her.
"Your show was great babe, Ecstasy had so much fun." She smiles kissing my cheek making me smile too. I'm glad he liked it. I do it all for them. "And your wonderful friends spent the night dancing with him to every song that played, he's never smiled so much." My smile widens and I stare over at the sleeping boy. He smiles in his sleep too sometimes he'll even giggle.
"I'm glad he liked it." I smile kissing her softly. "Did you enjoy yourself precious?" I kiss her lips gently.
"It was so much fun." She sat in the front row cheering me on while Ecstasy did he weird little dance with my friends. She couldn't look away from the stage and when she was holding our little boy she sung with me the words to the songs of specifically put at the end to help us put him to sleep. When the concert was over we went to my dressing room and played him the unreleased songs that we put him to sleep with and let him lay in Mel's lap. "You were so great!" She smiles kissing me softly.
"Thank you love." I smile. She's the most supportive girlfriend I could've asked for. "Maybe we could plan some of our wedding tonight? Maybe we could skip one episode of our show and talk about our destination wedding." I smile and she rolls her eyes.
"What do you mean destination wedding." She huffs and I chuckle. "I think we should get married at home, hidden by some pine trees." She giggles making me smile.
"We can take some photos in the pine trees, but it's very important to me to make this wedding as extravagant as possible. I say we do it in three months when I have my two month break. I can have everything planned by then if you trust me?"
