Dearest Ophelia,
The reason why my replies are 'delayed' is because the walls dividing our realms abide by a monthly cycle whereby they are at their thinnest on the twenty-first day of each month - hence that is the time my messages can materialise in the physical realm. If it's any consolation, your letters delight me tremendously and I write back instantly.
Hate is a very strong emotion, child. May I introduce you to the concept of jealousy? I'm going to digress and tell you about a mortal I once loved.
Helen was the most beautiful woman to grace the physical realm. She had a beauty that transcended all written records in existence - it was only appropriate she left carnage in her wake. You see, with great beauty came great resentment. Her face launched a thousand ships, she singlehandedly inspired the Trojan war, and the deaths of husbands, fathers, and sons.
My point is, you appear to be jealous of your friend Kelly, and I would hate to be the harbinger of bad news but this makes you (as people your age call it) a rather toxic person.
You are highly influential and I adore your schemes to make her life challenging, in particular the anonymous cyberbullying movement and the anonymous false reporting of incidents to her parents. But my child you have such great potential! If only you would put your energy somewhere more worthwhile.
What are your thoughts on starting your own religious organisation?
On a side note, my favourite animal is the goat.
Yours truly,
Satan
YOU ARE READING
DEAR SATAN
Short StoryExchange of letters between Ophelia (who misspelled Santa's name) and Satan himself.
