Struggling to Survive

Chapter 5

Who knew three little letters could cause you to almost kill someone. Once Carter said I needed to get tested for HIV. I launched at him. Luckily for him, Nigel was there to hold me back.

Nigel told him to leave before he got fucked up and he listened. I broke down on the floor and began to hysterically cry like a baby. Nigel came and sat on the floor with me. He asked if I wanted to call Steph but I didn't want her to be overly extra right now so I told him no.

He leaned back on my couch while I wrapped myself around him like a baby and was crying. He caressed my hair to help me calm down. I took my head off his shoulder and looked up at him. In between sobs I tried to speak.
"Tha-nk you Ni-igel." He pushed my head back on his shoulder after giving me a kiss on the forehead.

I heard my alarm going off and woke up realizing I was in my bed. I didn't have school today due to a teacher day so I turned off my alarm. I rolled over and saw Nigel sleeping on the other side of me. I began to smile slightly before completely remembering what happened last night. Then it all came back to me.

Carter told me he had a 4 month old daughter and that I need to get tested for HIV. Carter and I only broke up 3 months ago and were together a year prior. I got out of bed and went downstairs. I saw Linda in the kitchen.

"Nigel told me what happened last night." I just looked at her and went over to the fridge.
"You should've known better than to have unprotected sex with that boy. I told you he was no good. But hey if you got it I guess that's karma." She began to sip her coffee and left to go to work.

I swear I hated that woman so much. She was such a bitch. She never was there for me when I would need her the most. She acts like she's better than my mother because she's not addicted to all sorts of drugs but emotionally, she's just as bad.

I went back upstairs to my room and saw Nigel up on his phone. He looked over at me and smiled.
"Goodmorning beautiful."
"Goodmorning." I smiled and curled back up on my side of the bed.
"Listen I want you to know that I'm here for you. If you need me to go fight him I gotchu and you already know Trey gonna help. But don't stress it cause god got you. I know for a damn fact you don't have no HIV so don't even sit here all sad and depressed about it either okay?" He caressed my cheek and gave me a kiss on the fore head. I couldn't help but let a few tears fall from my eyes.
"Why you crying?" I quickly wipes my eyes but that didn't help the fact that a whole stream was pouring from my eyes.
"I just don't understand how you do this to a person. I just don't get it. I'm a good person. I mean I try to be. But nothing good comes to me. No one in my family cares about me. My own grandmother that I live with doesn't give two shits about me. She told me that if I have HIV then it's my karma? Karma for what?! What the fuck did I ever do to her?! I've tried to respect her and make her proud but it's never enough? I've never dated a nice guy in my life. I always get cheated on and disrespected. I can't take this shit no more. All I've ever wanted was a guy to just love me for me. But it's like I'm never enough. Like they always need more. The sad part is I know I'm not gonna amount to shit. I'm gonna be just like my mother. Strung out on drugs. So high I won't be able to remember my own damn name."

Nigel stared at me for a moment like he didn't know how to act. I've never been so vulnerable around him, I didn't know how he would react. I saw a tear run down his face. He pulled me into his lap and hugged me tight.

"Crystal Marie-Shining Jackson. You are the love of my life. Fuck your grandmother. Fuck Carter. Fuck anyone who ever said you would turn out just like your mother. You're gonna be something in life. You're an amazing person and I thank god everyday that you're in my life. I need you. I love you. I care about you. Same for Stephanie and Trey. Fuck your family! We're your family! We not going nowhere and neither are you. You gotta realize that babygirl. Your mother named you Crystal Shining for a reason. Cause you're always shining beautiful. In a dark ass room. You are the light that makes it bright again remember that." He kissed my forehead and hugged me longer. Lord knows I never I wanted that hug to end. Honestly I think we stayed in that position for 30 minutes. When we finally let go I began to laugh.
"I love you Nigel."
"I love you too Crystal."

A/N
Next chapter is going to be what happens the rest of the day. But awww that speech Nigel gave tho👏🏾👏🏾 we all need a him in our life. Poor baby girl Crystal has reached her breaking point in life. But I see her life getting better in the long run😉 I hope you're enjoying the book. Remember to vote and tell your friends about me😊 the more readers the better.