"Chanel?" The sound of my name echoed through the empty hallways of my mind as I see H with blood all over his face. I shut my eyes unable to keep enough consciousness to focus on what just happened. I feel blood rushing to my head that pounds and throbs against my skull.
I can't get out the words I need to say because I can't seem to get anything out of my vocal chords. It's as if someone stitched up my throat.
"Chanel, stay with us!" My eyes flash open as soon as I see a bright light track outside of my eyelids. The light is harsh and against the white walls that incapsulate me. I close them again but continue to hear my name linger through my empty hallowed mind.
"What's her story?" Voices blend together and I can't completely understand what is fully going on around me. I didn't know where I was or what had even happened to begin with. The only thing I could remember was the headlights.
"She was T-Boned by a drunk driver and hit her head, her injuries are pretty extensive due to three broken ribs and a broken arm." All I could understand was the word drunk. H was always drunk, where was he? Where was I? I tail spun into a deep confusion that hurt my head more and more every second my thoughts multiplied.
"Heart rate is rising, she needs to be stabilized," I blackout feeling my heart run a million miles an hour. Faster and faster my body runs until I was drained of any and all energy blacking out.
I feel my eye open to the dim room where the only light came from hallway through the blinds. Everything is blurry and unfocused, it's quiet with the exception of heart rate monitor that unsettled me. Something about the repetitive beeping and ringing in my ears caused an uncertain feeling to settle into my bones.
It doesn't take me long to figure out I am back in a hospital bed. I sit up but feel my breath is taken away and freeze, looking down to see I am wrapped around my chest and half way down my torso in gauze. I notice my left arm is casted and I begin to try and remember what happened. I stress my mind but can only come up with those bright headlights that blinded my eyes. That was all I could remember, headlights.
I breathe heavily while I look down at my broken body that had been carefully sewn back together. I keep concentrated on my bandages while tears fill my eyes as I feel a dull ache in my body.
"How are you feeling Mrs. Styles?" I hear someone in the room with me but my eyes stay on my bandages that wrap me.
"Mrs. Styles?" She repeats to me as I lean back slowly and cringe at the pain that shoots through my body.
"What happened to me? Where is Harry?" I rapid fire with questions as soon as I find my tired voice.
"You were in a car accident, you sustained three broken ribs and a broken arm. You really do have someone looking out for you. A woman in your position wouldn't normally come out as lucky as you did," the nurse tells me with a little brunette ponytail. She grabs the clipboard at the end of my bed and begins to take my vitals.
"A woman in my position?" I didn't know what she was referring to. Was it the fact that my husband was a murder? It couldn't possibly since I was the only one who knew about that.
"The baby is going to be just fine Mrs. Styles, it's a miracle really-"
"Baby?" I cut her off confused, "What are you talking about? What baby?"
"You didn't know?" The middle aged nurse asks me setting my charts down as nervousness travels up my spine. "You are 12 weeks pregnant,"
"What?" I whisper speechless and unable to comprehend everything. I peer down at my stomach and see it protruding more then it normally would. I hadn't paid much mind to my body sense I was so wrapped up in H and work. I didn't have time to think about my health mentally let alone physically. Two and a half months pregnant? How did this happen? What would Harry think? I really wish he was here right now.
"Mrs. Styles are you alright?" My nurse tends to me while my eyes fixated on my little tummy that was barely protruding out. How did I miss this?
"I just wasn't expecting... I didn't know... I'm pregnant?" I know I should be happy but all I could think was that this was H's baby. I knew it was Harry's body but I feel like I've cheated on Harry in some dark twisted way. What would he think?
Although, I did think that it was Harry the entire time. I had no reason to believe any other way before I came to know H and his tendencies. I was torn and the war in my mind raged on.
"12 weeks! You've got a little fighter in you! The accident should have killed the both of you from the way you hit your head but by a miracle you both came out fine," the nurse tells me while changing out my fluids and generally checking my status.
It was all making sense now. Everything clicked. The vomiting I passed as the stomach flu was morning sickness despite it happening more then just the morning. My irritable mood that set me off at dinner, it was my mood swinging from my pregnancy hormones. I hadn't bothered to keep tabs since I was wrapped up in other things but I hadn't had my period for close to three months. How did I miss all of this?
"I can't believe it... does Harry know?" I ask running my free arm over the slight bump. My other arm was occupied by a cast and sling at the moment which was something I will have to get used to.
"Harry still hasn't woken up, he knocked his head pretty hard but we are confident he will make a full recovery," the nurse tells me fluffing my pillow while I keep my bruised hand on top of my stomach that housed a little tiny baby.
"Do you think you could keep this between us, I would rather him focus on his recovery," this was all a lie but I needed time. This was all news to me and I needed time to process it. I knew my time was limited but I was going to take advantage of the fact that I could still hide this pregnancy. Apparently I had hid it so well I hadn't even noticed I was pregnant.
"Of course, I understand. It's not my place anyways Mrs. Styles. I'm only here to make sure the both of you are healthy and recovering," she tells me before walking out of the room. She informed me of instructions on if I needed her to press the button on my bedside.
"Oh my god, what have I gotten myself into?" I ask whispering, unable to take my hand off my little belly. There was a little human growing inside me, I've always wanted this. I should be happy. I should be over the moon that I was finally pregnant. This is what I wanted.
Happiness was shaded over by fear. I was nervous to do this all on my own. I was scared that I was carrying H's baby. I needed Harry, he was supposed to be here when this happened. This was unexpected and unorthodox the way it happened and unfolded.
"I'm sorry I didn't know you were in there. I haven't been a very good mom so far," I breath talking quietly to my bump as if it could hear me. "I promise I will keep you safe even though I've done a really bad job at that with this accident and not eating anything. I've really messed up but I promise, I will keep you safe, I won't let anyone hurt you," I rub my hand over my stomach and lay back keeping my hand put.
My time was limited and all I wanted was for Harry to resurface. I couldn't do this all on my own, I needed someone to lean on. I wasn't strong enough to conquer what was next without him.
N. I am back from vacation which means I am back to updating your regularly scheduled programming lol. I'm seriously so dumb lol! Annnyways anyone have any thoughts???
