"Where are you? I told you about this last week H! For God sake, I never ask anything 0f you!" I leave my message on H's voicemail while Doctor Lonnie is refreshing himself with my file in hand. "I'm sorry," I apologize sliding my phone back into my pocket when I can't get ahold of H.
I had relentlessly texted and called him but I received no answer. He wasn't home when I changed after work and my mind tracked to very unfavorable options after coming to the knowledge that he had unfinished business.
"Don't be sorry, I tried to take longer on your exams with your arms and ribs to give him more time," Doctor Lonnie told me as my eyes track down to my lap where I see my fingers peeking out of my bulky cast.
"Thank you, I don't know where he is but if this was important to him he would have been here," I say matter of factly feeling the tinge of hurt that stung my insides a lot more then I was anticipating. I knew how H was so I wasn't sure what I expected of him to begin with.
"Maybe he got caught up at work, don't beat yourself up about it," Doctor Lonnie pats my knee while I look up from my lap and give a weak smile. He preps my stomach once I pull up my shirt, spreading the cooling gel and bringing out the probe to the ultrasound machine.
"If it makes you feel any better, your recovery is coming along great and your cast can come off! You can schedule with the front desk to get that off as soon as your schedule will allow you!" Doctor Lonnie tells me. I smile in relief glancing down at the doodle H had drawn on my cast while I was napping. He drew a little cartoon devil that looked like him and an angel kissing the devil. H surprisingly was a good artist, especially with the little depiction he drew in my cast.
"Thank god! The cast defiantly hasn't been ideal! For work I've had to wear a green sleeve to hide it," I tell the doctor as he searches around for my baby.
"I can only imagine how difficult it's been with both you and Harry trying to recover from the accident. Even more so with you being pregnant!"
"It's defiantly been an adjustment," I scoff thinking about how I've had to take care of H and myself in the process of changing out bandages and distributing pain meds. H hadn't lifted a finger or offered to help with any of my recovery needs.
"So today is the day, did you want to know the sex?" This wasn't even a question really. I had been insanely impatient when it came to finding out who my baby was if it was a He or a she. Names had circulated in my head if it was a boy or a girl.
"Yes!" I smile excitedly forgetting about how H was supposed to be here. As soon as I saw the little body appear on the screen my heart sunk and I still failed to believe that that was my baby.
"Alright let's see here, there are the arms.... hmm," Doctor Lonnie squints looking at the blurred image of my baby constantly growing every day.
"Is there something wrong?" I ask after Lonnie after he stares at the screen for a prolonged period of time.
"See the little legs?"
"Yes," I squint looking at the black and white image.
"The baby's got their legs crossed so it's a little difficult to read right now. So I'm going to go measure and do everything else and maybe by the end we can check if they are in another position," Doctor Lonnie tells me zooming out from the close depiction of my baby's legs that were covering the genitalia.
"Some babies aren't exhibitionists," I giggle at my doctor's observations and listen to him talk about all the things he is looking for.
Overall he tells me that my baby is growing at a healthy rate and so far there isn't any damage done to him or her from the accident. He then tried one last time to check on the sex, to see if they had repositioned.
