I'm Here

Chapter 27: Actuality

The sun was shining through the curtains. The darkness of the inside of my eyelids was annoyingly bright, forcing me to open my eyes and face the day ahead of me. Memories of the night before were a bit blurry, but I have a rough idea as to what happened.

My head was pounding and I felt fatigued. I finally gained some strength and sat up straight in my bed. I looked down at myself and I was wearing the clothes I wore to the party. When I fell asleep, I was certain I was unclothed.

I started to notice my surroundings. I was in my room at home, not in Jack’s bed. Nothing was making sense.

I walked downstairs and found my mom in the kitchen.

“Hi, sweetheart,” My mother said. “How’d you sleep?”

“Okay, I guess.” I responded.

“Were you too lazy to change your clothes last night?” My mom gestured at my outfit.

I shrugged.

“What time did you get in last night?” She asked. I felt like I was in the hot seat with all these questions. All the thinking definitely didn’t help the raging headache.

“I really don’t know.” I said while grabbing myself a cup of coffee. Once I sat down next to my mom, I was trying not to strain myself, but I was thinking of all the possible things that actually happened last night.

I clearly got drunk. Maybe I blacked-out because I don’t remember anything. I have a rough picture in my head of me and Jack having sex in his room, but based on my surroundings, that probably wasn’t true. Besides, I wouldn’t cheat on Louis. I’ve been waiting for him and I to finally work things out and we did. I wouldn’t jeopardize that.

The image of me and Jack was so clear, though. If I was really drunk, I might have done something awful and stupid like that. The last memory I have, I was lying down in Jack’s bed, completely naked, and falling asleep.

I would’ve woken up naked in his bed if that actually happened, though, right? I’ve never felt such a feeling of fear in my life. It’s not the fear that I cheated, but it’s the fear of getting so drunk and not remembering what happened and not knowing a dream from reality. There was no way to check what happened unless I spoke to Jack and he says the same thing I’m thinking.

“Honey,” My mom started snapping in my face. “I said are you feeling okay?”

I tried to get away from my thoughts for a second to survive this little morning talk with my mother. “Yeah, I’m feeling fine.” I lied. Not only did I feel sick and have a headache, my mental state of mind was a mess, too.

“Did you drink last night? You don’t have to lie to me.” She asked.

I guess I was found out. Might as well tell her that I did, but maybe I’ll leave out the part about not remembering the actual entire night. “Yes, but not that much. It was only a little bit.”

“Well, aren’t you just growing up so fast?” My mom leaned back in her chair and smiled.

I was a little disturbed and confused as to why she was so calm. “You’re not mad?” I asked.

“No, I’m not mad. As long as you didn’t do anything really stupid, I’m okay with this. Don’t tell your father, though. He will blow a gasket.” She responded.

I nervously bit my lip. I was incredibly stupid, but I don’t even know if I actually did the one thing I’ve really been stressing out about.

“Thanks,” Was the only thing I could really think to say, “for being cool with it and everything.”