Daylight (An Adam Levine/Maroon 5 fanfiction)

Chapter 14: Tiny Black Keys

Chapter 14: Tiny Black Keys

                Adam’s fingers glided over the fret board of his guitar. Pressing down each string made him release a new emotion he’d been holding in.  The calluses on his long muscular fingers hadn’t softened substantially.   They were still as tough and prominent like they had always been. They had started developing when Adam was 11, it was nearly 20 plus years of playing. It had been so long since Adam had played his guitar, let alone composed a song. Throughout the couple of months after Hope’s death, he wrote a few songs, but only lyrics.  He was just terrified to share them with anyone, because of how personal they were. Of course songs were meant to show your true feelings and your deepest thoughts, but these were Adam’s raw emotions from losing one of the most important people in his life. All he wanted to do was lock himself away and throw his feeling in a vault and burry the key. Song writing used to be therapeutic, that’s how Adam solved his problems in the past. When he wrote “She Will Be Loved”, all of his fears related to Hope were delicately thought out and arranged into simple words expressing his feelings. She needed to know how he felt and she did, at least at the time. It shattered Adam’s heart into small jagged pieces that Hope wouldn’t be able to know how he felt now.  

                At first, Adam wasn’t planning to stay long at all, although his plans changed once he started fiddling with his guitar. He was able to add a melody to the lyrics he’d been working on.  Moments later, James started playing a soft chord progression on the piano. His ears perked up and he rotated his towards James.

                “Play that again?” Adam asked timidly.  Normally, Adam had no problem with the song writing process. He had been out of it for so long that it was completely unnatural to be doing it again.

                James nodded and placed his long fingers on the delicate white keys once more.  With each chord, Adam’s heart began beating a little faster. His mouth moved and Adam started humming. He wasn’t quite sure it the lyrics he wrote would mesh with James’s melody.  Adam opened his mouth, letting some of his apprehensions go. The words soared out of his throat, and into the open air. They flew, made circles around Adam’s head and into James’s ears. James then gave Adam an empowering look of gratitude that meant, “Keep going man”.

After about 20 minutes, Adam was ready to hit the booth to record. The best and most memorable songs naturally came to Adam. He knew they were a hit if it took less than three hours to write.

Adam cued Noah to start recording a demo and he began to sing.

                Finally, he was able to let his emotions fun free. Everything he had been holding in just carefully escaped out of his body, still trying to resist the escape.  The feelings were locked inside Adam’s head, a prison of his thoughts. They were all so eager to see the world, but terrified to experience the truth. As each thought, word, and feeling traveled out of Adam, he felt more at center. He didn’t know how detrimental his feelings were to him, until he let them out.

The song was simple. Just a piano ballad, with soft vocals. But, that’s all it need. Anything thing more would be over kill. There had been too many times when a producer had tried to push and add embellishments that weren’t necessary. Adam planned to stand his ground if it came to that this time particular song, it meant too much to him.

By the time Adam let his vocal chords erupt with his smooth, butter-like voice, his eyes were filled with tears ready to spill out. He hadn’t realized how personal the song was until he experienced it in all of its glory. The headphones fit upon his head like a perfect puzzle piece, interlocking round his ears. Adam was secluded from the outside world within the booth. All he could hear was the sound of his voice as it echoed through the small space and the delicate music he recorded from the piano.   The magnitude of the song made Adam want to fall to his knees and just sob uncontrollably. To fully detoxify and flush out all of his negative energy, he needed to cry. There was something that was preventing him from doing so. Maybe it’s because of Maddie? Or that it if he fully committed to letting his emotions go, he would actually have to accept that Hope was gone?

 It’s not that he hadn’t cried because of Hope’s death and he hadn’t grieved. However, in order for Adam to start living a normal life, and actually get a sufficient night’s sleep, he needed to let go. The song had the potential to free him. Although, something he couldn’t pin point was holding him back.  Every night he would wrestle, a tug of war would occur throughout his head. His eyes were closed, and he kept them shut to prevent himself from seeing reality. It was as if Adam wanted to stay in this state of limbo.

James and Noah stared at Adam with intense emotion. Amazed that Adam was actually singing again. It had been so long since they had heard his voice that they were starting to forget what he sounded like. They both knew what the song was about, it was obvious- like that one yellow rose in a sea of red roses.  The two watched in amazement as they witnessed their dear friend slowly come back to life. Color started to reappear in his pale skin. His eyes began to return to their soft hazel shade. He had been a zombie for more than six months, rarely leaving the comfort of his bunker or “home” as it used to be called.  Everyone tiptoed around pushing Adam to start recording some music again, and were surprised when he finally agreed. James knew him too well, and was aware of his weakness for music. Music was Adam’s life, it still was his life. He just forgot it in the black hole he fell into, after he lost the love of his life.   The power of music cannot be measured or calculated. He needed his friend to rediscover the beautiful thing he loved so much.

After every emotion came flooding out of Adam, he stood motionless in the booth. The final words he sung still resonated around him. He didn’t want to leave the comfort of the small space. The outside world was too much at the moment.  About 5 minutes later, Adam’s thoughts were disrupted by James entering the booth, joining him.

“Adam,” James started, his voice smooth with sincerity. “That was amazing dude.”

There was a break before he spoke again, Adam remained staring at his feet.

“Don’t you feel so much better? We’ve missed you so much.”

“I guess.” Adam responded hesitantly.

His shoulders were hunched down and he stuck his fingers in the pockets of his very worn and loved demi jeans.  Although, when he thought about it, singing did release an emotion he hadn’t felt in a while, genuine happiness and bliss. It’s not that being with Maddie didn’t make him happy, but when he was with her in the back of his mind was always intense sorrow. He buried it in the very deep crevasses of his brain, and to discover it you must dust and go through thousands of obstacles. Nevertheless, the feeling was evident and resilient.

“Wanna go get a burger?”  James asked, hoping his friend would say yes because all he had eaten that day was a banana and a Clif bar. At this point James thought he could consume a horse, 5 small children and an average size kitchen table, and throwing in a 1983 Chevy for good measure.

Adam’s face began to show fear and panic.

“Wait, what time is it?” Adam asked, not wanting to know the answer.               

James looked to his watch, “About 6:30.”

“Shit,” Adam thought. “We gotta get home. I promised Maddie I wouldn’t be here the whole day.”

James sensed the panic in Adam’s voice and immediately planned reassured him.

“Adam, It’s fine if you come home 30 minutes later. She’s not gonna know.” Said James. He wanted his friend to be able to “go with the flow” more. Adam had become so regimented, and anything disrupting his schedule threw him into a tizzy.

Without hesitation Adam responded disregarding what James said.

“No,” Adam demanded. “We have to leave now.  I just have to.”

James saw the intensity in Adam’s eyes and knew not to push Adam over the edge. He just wanted his friend to have some sense of normality in his life.  Of course, James was aware that things would never be as they were.  Although, that’s how life goes, things change and it’s just a matter of learning to cope with them.

 Reluctantly James let Adam lead him to his car, so Adam could get home and see his daughter, who was the only constant thing in his life, and as of right now, the only thing that gave him joy.

Thanks so much guys! Sorry for the wait. Please keep telling me what you think. Oh , and what song do you guys think he's talking about??? Leave a comment!!!