Daylight (An Adam Levine/Maroon 5 fanfiction)

Chapter 18: Full Circle

Chapter 18: Full Circle

Darkness surrounded Adam from every angle. He shut his eyes almost to the point of pain, trying to keep himself asleep. Although, his efforts weren't enough and now he was wide awake. Adam didn't want to be. This was new, normally Adam would rather be up because then he wouldn't be a prisoner of his own mind. As each day approached this one, he avoided any recollection of knowing the date. Shutting himself off from the rest of the world is what he did best these days. Maddie was unaware of her father's sudden change in mood, but sensed a disturbance. His body was hollow, all of his bones caved in. The only thing he was capable of doing was lying flat on his back, emotionless. He couldn't cry, his entire body was numb. Tears would only graze his skin, gently slipping off of his tender face.

He glanced over at the clock, it read “4:53 AM”.  It wasn’t a reasonable time to get up yet, Adam still had a couple of hours to soak in his thoughts. Adam replayed the day over and over again, it was so vivid. Although, when it became too clear, Adam immediately shut his eyes. He desperately wanted to wipe the memory from his mind. Sometimes a single bad memory, can ruin a thousand perfect ones. It was supposed to be a happy day. Months before Adam had planned something elaborate. There were going to be flowers, and music, everything that Hope loved. Then in one split second, every plan Adam had was erased and focused on planning something equally as time consuming, but nearly not as happy.

Eventually, light crept into his sad, empty room. Adam reluctantly got up out of his bed and checked on Maddie, who the only thing keeping him going.  He gradually picked up each foot making his way to Maddie’s nursery.  It was still early so Maddie was in a deep slumber. Once again he looked in on her, and picked her up and carried her to his room. She had been the only female, let alone person in it besides Adam, in months.

He laid down on his back and situated himself so he was almost sitting up. Then he placed Maddie on his stomach. He loved nothing more than hearing hear breath, it comforted Adam to no end. It made him feel like everything in his apartment wasn’t dead and stale.

Adam must have dozed off because he woke up sensing someone was watching him. Carefully he opened his eyes, standing in the door way was Jesse. Jesse knocked his knuckle against the panel of the door.

“Hey” Jesse said calmly. “How are you holding up?”

Adam sighed and looked down at Maddie and back at Jesse.

Jesse walked a few feet into the room.

“I’m talking that long sigh as not well. Don’t worry, we have you back.”

Adam looked puzzled, and stared at his friend.

“Guys?” Jesse called.

Moments later James, Mickey, Ryan and his wife came through the door.

Adam smiled a bit.  

“It’s a tough day,” James said, in his calming and sincere voice. It always had a warm, tender quality. Even if James was upset, his voice never showed any signs of anger or doubt. “We’re here for you.”

“It’ll be like old times,” Mickey added, holding two six packs of beer and a bag full of snacks that would destroy a digestive system just by looking at them.

“I don’t know, what about Maddie?” Adam said, expressing his qualms. He didn’t think getting wasted around his daughter would be a good idea.

“I have that covered.”  Ryan said, as Rachel walked to Adam.

They looked at each other, and she gave him a smile. Rachel gently picked up Adam’s hand and rubbed it with her thumb and kissed Adam’s forehead.

“She’s proud of you, I know it. You’re doing a great job with her.” Rachel told him.

Adam blushed. He thought that out of all of them Rachel was really Hope’s only girlfriend. They actually met when Hope was at college, and she introduced her to Ryan. After all, she knew Ryan’s taste in women, they did date for two weeks like fifteen years ago.

Rachel walked out carrying Maddie and he assumed she would be taking her to their home to play with Rachel and Ryan’s daughter Kailey, who was about 3 years older than Maddie. She looked exactly like her parents, brown hair, brown eyes and a remarkable knack for making others laugh uncontrollably.

At first Adam was reluctant about spending today with others, he wanted to spend the day alone. Who wants to spend their wedding anniversary with anyone but their significant other? It marked Adam and Hope being together for 10 years, but only married for a year. They would finally be together, married, for a whole year. Hope kept saying that they didn’t need a silly piece of paper to show their love for each other, but Adam was the persistent one who kept pushing for a traditional wedding.

As Adam and his best friends in the world sat around his room, spending his anniversary drinking beer and playing classic records, Adam felt himself smile. He had smiled before, but nothing like this. It truly was a smile, he didn’t’ force it, it wasn’t a ploy to show that he was okay, it was natural and it felt natural. Everyone in the room felt it too. An energy flowed through the air, effecting all of them. No one was spared, it was contagious.

Mickey laughed ten times harder when Jesse told some cheesy joke about global warming. James had a surprisingly good case to defend himself as Ryan persistently made fun of jazz, as he proceeded to call it “boring, old people music”.  

The room seemed brighter, and less vacant. The flowers outside were happier and all around content. Adam looked around when there was a break in the conversation. He sat for a moment and took a few deep breaths. He fiddled his finders around the edges of his second beer. The bottle was lukewarm now and the condensation had started to drip on to his comforter, but he didn’t ‘care, it would dry.

Adam wanted to think of a way to thank his friends for being here for him in his darkest hours. He didn’t have words to describe it. He felt so loved and cared for. His friends didn’t need to do anything crazy, just being here, this was enough.

“Thanks guys,” Adam said.

No one said anything, they all just raised their bottles and they each took a swig as “Smells like Teen Spirit” by Nirvana quietly played around them, a little tribute Hope.

“Just like old times,” Adam thought.

He knew there was something missing, they all did. Although they all suppressed it. It wouldn’t do them any good to think about it.  It was the first time all of them had hung out in the past six months without Hope. This was the new normal, and it was starting to feel real to Adam, but in a good way. He could feel himself adjusting, and letting go. But never forgetting Hope.

 

Thanks so so much guys!!!! It’s unreal how many reads Out On Your Corner has!  If you  haven't read it yet, it would be cool if you checked it out!! I couldn’t have done it without you. Remember to vote! Oh, and I’m thinking of changing the cover of this story, tell me if I should or not or if you have suggestions.