I Do... Not Want My Boyfriend

Chapter 11

When I walk on by, girls be looking like damn he fly

I pimp to the beat, walking on the street in my new lafreak, yeah

This is how I roll, animal print, pants outta control,

It's Redfoo with the big afro

And like Bruce Leroy I got the glow

Ah... Girl look at that body

Ah... I work out

Ah... Girl look at that body

Ah... I work out

Chapter 11 

--Elspeth--

Grandma and Papa were extremely hyper today. They were literally asking me questions left and right. Although I couldn't seem to get a word in to answer those never-ending questions. But my grandparents were cute enough that their questions didn't pose as an annoyance.

I went over their house today in search of some wisdom from my grandmother. I also wanted to convince them that Jimmy needed a little maintenance done. His paint was really starting to chip and it was time for Jimmy to get a makeover.

I was curently sitting in my grandparent's living room with Grandma. Papa was cooking dinner in the kitchen, complaining about not being able to find pots, pans, and salt every once in a while. I personally think that he keeps misplacing said items.

"So what have you done with that boyfriend of yours?" Grandma asked as she squinted at me.

She was wearing another one of her classic dresses. A long yellow dress covered in bright orange polka dots. This had to have been one of her better ensembles, but it was still blinding.

"Um what do you mean?" I asked her.

"I mean how much have you let him touch ya child?" Grandma asked.

I gaped, although I wasn't sure why. You would think I'd be used to her crazy questions by now. The crazy lady always had my cheeks turning pink from all of her probing. "I really don't want to talk about that, I came here for wisdom."

"Oh! Wisdom. You should have checked The Bible darling, the only wisdom I have is the knowledge of a good wardrobe. Which I see you need some help in." Grandma cackled while gesturing towards my plain green shirt, green flats, and patterned tan pants to match.

I gasped, "My wardrobe is fine!"

Her wide eyes narrowed in suspicion as she looked me up and down, "Are you sure about that, I mean I know you want to have style like your grandmother deary, but you're far away from success."

I rolled my eyes at my grandmother. This is why I'm so weird, I got it from her.

"Well I think that Elspeth's clothes are nice." Papa said as he slowly walked into the living room. He had a green apron on that my grandmother had bedazzled for him. Too bad some of the jewels were starting to come off. My grandmother was never the kind of lady who liked complicated machines so she just super-glued every rhinestone onto his apron instead.

Although I had an inkling that Papa was purposely pulling off the rhinestones from the apron since he didn't think he looked like a "man" in the kitchen with bedazzled clothing. 

"Thank you," I smiled as I looked over at Papa.

He gave me a bright smile and then gestured to the kitchen, "It's time to eat, the food's ready."

"I'll be there soon Teddie." Grandma said although her eyes were suddenly glued to the dots on her dress. I understood, the colors on her dress weren't exactly soft on the eyes. I was sure she was getting lost in a sea of neon.