I have always been scared of losing you simply because I can't believe I actually have you right next to me.
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Loving me is not a fairytale but it's okay. We never liked fairytales. Fairytales are tragedies and I think I'm more than that.
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I think I am too young to be depressed and this just a rough patch but it has been one too many days when I wish the pain would end, when everything won't feel like blurry mess, when I just won't wish for the day to be over just to tick it off my list. I feel awful or feel nothing at all. I am too young to feel this way, right?
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I have tried every distraction I could get my hands on so that I wouldn't think about anything that's going on in my life. But it's no good because at the end of the day when I am about to sleep I have to face me.
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Recovery is hard but post recovery is harder. When you feel yourself getting better, relearning to enjoy things, interacting with friends but the fear of the relapsing doesn't go away because you know your depression is just around the corner.
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I have gone to bed crying and woken up screaming only to snooze all my 6 alarms to not face the day. Laying in my bed trying to figure out why I feel so sad when I have nothing to be sad about. Yes, I guilt-trip myself. I have done everything to change but nothing works.
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I really like clichés and I think I am turning into one.
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YOU ARE READING
The Blooms Of My Garden
شِعر'The Blooms Of My Garden' is divided into 6 parts. Every part deals with one theme and various emotions that are associated with it and how the poet deals with it. 1. Love 2. Lust 3. Heartbreak and Closure 4. Self-doubt and self-love, healing and b...
