my life with you {cheryl tweedy}

March 24th, 2018

Cheryl

A change of heart. That's all it is. It's just a slight change of heart. Maybe it wasn't meant to be like this in the end. Just thinking about it makes me sick. Why do I have this change of heart? Everything was fine before I went on and had to have a think.

"Mam, you alright?" Melanie asked as she sat down next to us at the breakfast table. I looked up to see her worried expression.

"Yeah, just a bit sleepy." I made up an excuse but I could tell that Mel wasn't buying that for one second.

"You've been zoning out constantly the past two days." She said and took a bite of the eggs I made for us this morning.

"Do you think that you'd want a little brother or sister?" I randomly asked her, knowing I can't help but wonder if Melanie can give us the answers I need about this.

"What?! I don't know, why are you asking me that?" Mel put her fork down and looked us in the eye, seeming very worried now.

"Like, am I too old to give you that?" I asked another question, not really telling me daughter what's going on inside me head at the moment.

"What the bloody hell are you saying?" She finally asked straight out, trying to get to the bottom of my mysterious change of heart.

"I don't think Liam is ready for a future." I flat out said it, knowing I have to confess at some point.

I thought he was the one. Even though it hasn't been long, he had so much potential in me eyes. He was so sweet and took care of us in such a lovely way. I don't want to let him go, but I think it's for the best.

"What?" Melanie asked as she pushed her plate forward and seemed really concerned about a decision I am on the brink of making.

"I want to be married, I want another child sometime soon. I want things that he's not ready for and never will be ready for until years down the line." I said, opening up about my issue to Melanie "I don't want to wait around for all that." I left it there and leaned back in me chair. I don't know if that's enough of an explanation but that's all I got.

"Well, if you think that, then break it off," Melanie said like it was the easiest thing to do.

"Just like that?" I asked and looked at her with a shocked expression, not knowing she could be so heartless.

"Well, you haven't been dating long, just say that it's not the relationship you're looking for." She told us and I realized that she may be right.

"But I'll feel horrible. Mel, I really like him." I whined to me daughter, thinking about how crazy it is that I go to her for me dating advice.

"Honestly Mam, there are way better people out there for you. There are men who will make you ten times happier, you just haven't met them yet. You'll find a man who makes you feel secure about a relationship, one that will never make you question it like you are now." Melanie explained to us and I was taken aback by her brilliant knowledge of relationships.

"Will I though?" I asked, knowing that she can't possibly believe that there's someone better than Liam.

"Look, I know that this is painful to hear but I just want to see you happy. If you're not seeing your ideal future, and I was you, I wouldn't pursue any further." She said and stood up, placing herself right on me lap.

"But is that fair? For us to just assume he's not ready for that?" I quietly asked as I put me arm around her waist and held her close.

"Mam, he's a twenty-four-year-old singer who's constantly on the road working on his new solo career. And at some point, him and One Direction is meant to get back together?" She said and laid her head on me shoulder.