The Avengers: Texters, Assemble!

~The God of Hammers~

Steve, Tony, Natasha, Clint, Bruce, Thor, Wanda, Pietro, Vision, Bucky, and Loki are online

Thor) BRETHEREN

I HAVE COME BEARING A NEW "WHAT IF" CHALLENGE!

Tony) oh gr8

what is it this time

Thor) "IF WE WERE GODS."

AND BY WE, I MEAN ALL OF YOU MORTALS.

BECAUSE I AM THOR, GOD OF THUNDER. I ALREADY HAVE MY "WHAT IF" FIGURED OUT.

Clint) but like shouldn't you be the god of lightning

I mean you fight with lightning

Not thunder

Natasha) Well, technically he fights with a hammer and channels lightning.

But yeah, you never really do anything with actual thunder.

Tony) yeah who do u think u r with all that false advertising

Bruce) But... Tony, your suits aren't even made of iron.

Tony) stfu

Thor) CEASE YOUR BICKERING AND PETTINESS.

Bucky) CAN I BE A GOD OF WINTER

But not like cold horrible blizzards that steal noses and toes and fingers

Like snowmen and angels and snowball fights that stay mostly civil and sledding, definitely sledding

Vision) Did you mean: Jack Frost

Bucky) YES

Steve) Maybe, I just, I dunno. I don't think I'm really cut out to be a god.

Natasha) boo

shut up

Steve) Maybe a god of protection, like a guardian of children.

Tony) such a saint

Natasha) what about you, Merchant of Death, you wanna be god of selling weapons of mass destruction to other countries?

Clint) burrrrrrn

Tony) god of goatees it is

Clint) Ah Satan, you're already a goddess

Natasha) :DDD

Goddess of subterfuge.

Clint) :DDD good one

I gotta go with god of archery

Thor) WE ALREADY HAVE ONE OF THOSE. HER NAME IS SKADI.

Clint) well I haven't seen her and I'm better so no she isn't.

Bruce) I'd kind of like to be a god of patience? Or maybe temperament?

Natasha) That fits you really nicely!

Bruce) 8)

Pietro) GODOFSPEED

IAMSPEED

Tony) sry but lightning mcqueen is already a thing

Thor) LIGHTNING IS MY JOB.

Natasha) I thought you said it was thunder...

Wanda) I want to be the goddess of magic.

Helping children while also giving hell to horrible people.

Vision) You already do that.

Wanda) Awwww Vizzzz

What about you, though?

Vision) I'm not sure. Perhaps something to do with emotions.

Tony) rly thought u were gonna say something about the freakin infinity stone in your head but

Vision) Not understanding confusing emotions is very frightening and I would want to help people learn what they mean.

Wanda) This ^^^

Loki) Well, as fun as it has been to watch you all play make-believe...

None of you will ever be gods.

Tony) yeah cuz your gig is so much better

Loki) I am the god of lies, trickery, and mischief. I am the god of stories and paradoxes. I am the rightful king of Jotunheim and Prince of Asgard.

So, yes, my "gig" is quite a lot better than pretending to be the god of goatees.

~~~
AUTHOR'S NOTES
~~~

1. *Loki pulls out knife against Thanos*

Me: "aRe YoU LOkI, tHe GOd oF KnIveS?!?!"

2. THUNDER, FEEL THE THUNDER---

3. Don't think I've ever mentioned this before but not all chapters are in sequential order? And some of them don't correlate at all because they're probably not all taking place in the same AU lol