Bases (Lesbian Story)

11• Full of Anxiety

This was the time for me to pull out the old prescription bottle. I stare hesitantly at the bottle, eye to eye. I haven't really took my anxiety meds in 3 months. I really thought I didn't need them. I've adapted to everything. My job, my friend, being in meetings, but this date, it's really getting to me. It's pushing me 5 steps backwards. So many bad thoughts are going through my head.

What if I screw up? What if I say something inappropriate? What if I do something that's so damaging and embarrassing? What if I have something in my teeth? God, do I have something in my teeth? I quickly pull out my phone to check.

I've never really been the dating type. I never really even been in a relationship. I realized I was attracted to girls my freshman year of college. Before I never really thought about a relationship. No teen love, no puppy love, nothing. I realized I was into girls because I was never attracted to men. I walk into a room full of people and a male can be clearly hitting on me and I wouldn't pay much attention, but the slightest compliment from a female gave me butterflies. I know, how cliché can I possibly get.

Jackie Humridge, soccer player also star of the campus of GGU. She was my first true crush. Freshman year I attended a game with some associates. I wasn't really a huge crowd type of person, but I was that day. She was playing and that's the very first time I noticed her. She was very aggressive when it came to playing. You could clearly see it in her face. She was very fearless and careless with the words she spoke to the referee, she was ambitious, you could see it in her face.

After the game my associates went down to congratulate the players because they won. There was this after party at one of the college houses and I had no choice but to go. I also wanted to attend because I wanted to get to meet Jackie. I never really got to meet her though. When I tried looking for her, I found her celebrating with her boyfriend in the broom closet. Total heart crusher and I barley knew her, but I swear I thought she was into girls. No not because she was on the soccer team but just because she had that demeanor. You know how people say they can detect when someone is gay because their "gay radar" is tingling, that was mine. It was off the charts when I laid eyes upon her, but I guess it was wrong.

After that it was a few dates to try to find my "true identity", but none of them was a success, they never really worked. I've hooked up with one girl out of my whole life, and that wasn't much fun. All together, that just sums up how bad I am in relationships.

"Turn around!" Bryan demands. Right now he's on FaceTime reviewing my look. Which is a   and white crop top, tied in the front, paired with blue high waisted jeans and beige and blue wedges that tie around the ankle. I ruffle the curls in my head.

"You look so spicy, mamacita!" He cheers. I blush as he continues to boost my confidence.

"Learned from the best." I throw him a wink.

"So what time is she suppose to pick -" He couldn't even finish his sentence. My doorbell rings through my apartment. He raises his eyebrows.

"That's her now," I smile nervously.

"Can you flip the camera so I can see how she loo-" I quickly hang up in his nosy ways. I review myself once more and quickly go to retrieve the door. On my way, I almost break my ankle over curtains toy.

"Ugh!" I say as I open the door. Her eyes quickly land on me and meet mine. She's just as beautiful as the night I met her. Today her burgundy hair is curled and styled. Her white button up shirt exposes her chest a bit. Her sleeves are rolled up, revealing her tattoos. She wears white skinny jeans that hugs her legs perfectly, with brown moccasins. She holds wine in her other hand.

"I figured, since I already sent you flowers you wouldn't need more, so I just brought wine. Is that okay?" She questions nervously, while pushing up her glasses adorably. I can tell she's just as nervous as I am. Her posture shoots for the, cool, calm and collective look, but the way she fumbles reveals she's sweating bullets and nervous.