Yoonmin- Delusions [M.YG • P.JM]

6- Candle

Jimin's POV

Today was Friday, March 8th, 2013. I know this because my grandma brought me a calendar when she visited for New Year's. I already finished my 6th session (my sessions are every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday) with my doctor, Yoongi-hyung, so I'm walking around the hospital. I'm the only patient with this privilege. After 3pm, everyday, I'm allowed to roam around until I have to go to bed at 9pm.

I was wandering the third floor, staring out the windows one by one as I proceeded closer to the elevator. (I'm not allowed to leave the hospital, of course. They actually have the elevator no the second floor locked, so I don't go down to the first floor, and I don't have a card for the scanner. Only staffs and doctors have them.) I leaned myself against the wall by the last window, crossing my arms and just eyeing the outside world. I've left the hospital on only one occasion: when a patient managed to pull down on the fire alarm, causing everyone to evacuate. Since, then, I've stayed inside. But the large window on my ceiling allowed me to stare up at the sky during the day and at night, so I had at least that. And I also had the window above my sofa where I like to sit.

I watched as only a few cars drove past the building, then I spotted a cat. Alone and probably scared. It reminded me of the cat my grandma had around. White fur accompanied by a layer of brown and black on its upper half. I missed that cat.

I pushed myself off the wall and went to the elevator, pushing the button that pointed down. Within a few seconds, there was a ding, and the doors slid open. To my surprise, Yoongi and Hoseok-hyung were inside. As they took notice of my presence, they stopped their conversation.

"Hey, Jiminie," Hoseok greeted, smiling.

"Hey," Yoongi said quietly. I smiled to both of them in response and stepped inside, taking the corner of the elevator.

Hoseok continued his conversation with Yoongi. "I don't get why we can't go to your parents to celebrate your birthday. They invited us! Can we please go? Your mom makes the best food."

It's Yoongi-hyung's birthday? When?

"It's on Saturday. You know, one of my only two days off. I'd rather sleep than go celebrate. A gift for myself." Yoongi turned down Hoseok's plea. Saturday? That's tomorrow!

"Can I-" I spoke, their heads turning to me. "Can I come?" Yoongi and Hoseok just stared at me, not knowing what to say to me. I shouldn't have said anything. What was I thinking? I can never leave this place. I'm so stupid. Why did I say that? Of course they-

"You can come," Yoongi finally said, Hoseok jumping up and down at the fact that they were going. Just as the elevator dinged, Hoseok contained his excitement and we all walked out.

"But, how are we gonna get Jimin out of here?" Hoseok asked.

"I can just write him a slip. Plus, getting out of this depressing place could be good for him. I'll just use some medical excuse. They won't argue, seeing that he already has special privileges that other patients don't."

"Okay, wow, I guess this is really happening. Aren't you excited, Jimin?" Hoseok said, his voice higher than it was before.

I nodded excitedly, my vision blocked by how hard I was smiling.

***

"Happy birthday, Yoongi!" We all said in unison as the cake was lit up by candles. Yoongi's Mom had baked the cake herself, and it was decorated as if you had bought it from a store. His father was quiet, I think he didn't like Yoongi. He barely spoke to Yoongi this whole time. He even said 'happy birthday' so softly I could barely hear it. But he was here, meaning that he did care. Maybe something happened between the two of them that he never got over?

Yoongi blew out the candles, his cheeks tainted pink. He must've felt that he was too old to be doing this, but did it anyways to please everyone. I've never blown a candle. Or maybe I have but I don't remember. I've missed a lot of my birthdays. The staff and doctors didn't really care to remember the birthday of a patient, so there was never anything celebrated.

After we ate the cake, which I almost forgot the taste of, we gathered on the couch to watch t.v. Yoongi's father left a while ago because he was called into work apparently. Hoseok looked tired, and I think he was starting to fall asleep. Meanwhile, Yoongi's mom's eyes were glued to the screen as there was tension between a boy and a girl.

A hand touched my shoulder and I flinched, but saw that it was just Yoongi and relaxed.

"Follow me." I did as I was told, and followed him to the dining table where there was a slice of cake with a single candle. He pulled out a chair, and I went to sit in it. "I know this isn't much, but you must've missed years of celebrating your birthday or having anyone acknowledge that you even have one." He flicked the lighter, a flame shooting up. He carefully lit the candle, then lunged to reach over to the light switch. The room went dark, only a small circumference of light around the cake visible. "Go ahead, make your wish and blow them out."

I didn't know what to wish for. There were so many. Should I wish to be out of the hospital? To be free of my mental illness? To see my grandma's dear cat again? To have someone to love? To be loved? I closed my eyes when I finally decided on something I wanted. Collecting air in my lungs, I blew out the candle, only the smell of smoke being caught by my senses as I still couldn't see. Yoongi flicked on the lights and handed me a fork as he stabbed into the cake with his own.

"Happy late birthdays, Jimin," he said before putting the cake into his mouth. I grabbed a piece of the cake and stared at it as my eyes began to get wet. I brought the cake into my mouth, and let my tongue taste the sweet frosting again. I couldn't stop the tears from forming, a couple running down my cheeks. Yoongi swallowed, just watching me cry. I didn't make any sound. I just sat with tears steaming down my face. Why was I crying? Because of the cake? Because I haven't celebrated in a long time?

Yoongi grabbed my hand, causing me to look at him. We both didn't say a word. He hesitantly brought his other hand up, pausing when he got closer to my face. As he stayed inspecting me, he finally let his hand reach my face, caressing my cheek. His thumb wiped away a tear, and he tried to smile to make me feel better.

I was crying because I wanted someone to love, and someone to love me back.

___
End of Chapter