Yoonmin- Delusions [M.YG • P.JM]

19- I'm sorry

Jimin's POV

I already finished my 29th session for the day, and the whole time I couldn't focus. Memories of the week before kept rushing back into my head whenever I looked at Yoongi. The way Yoongi would just smile and melt my heart. And the times he let me sleep in the bed with him because he knew I felt lonely. I love that he knows things about me; both personally and medically.

But during the sessions I'd find Jungkook and Taehyung talking to each other across the room and my mood completely changes. I saw the real them, now I don't know what to do with the ones in my delusion. They caught on to my odd behavior quickly, and I tried to play it off by plastering a smile on my face.

But it didn't work...

-flashback-

"Come on, Jimin. We know when you're hiding something from us," Jungkook said.

I was circled by all 5 of them, each of them pressuring me to spill.

"Jiminie, you can tell your hyung anything, you know that. I'm here for you," Jin assured.

"Yeah, you can tell us." Namjoon rested his arm over Jin's shoulder and leaned against him.

"I...can't," I spoke.

"You can't or you won't?" Jungkook scoffed.

The thought of telling them that they were only my imagination and that I've met the real Taehyung and Jungkook while I was gone will hurt them. It'll hurt me. They overheard Yoongi mention that they were new versions in my delusion during our 7th session, and they asked me if it was true, and of course I denied it to spare their feelings. Or was it? Was I doing it so that they wouldn't leave me? Who knows what will happen if I fully accept that they're not real? Will they disappear? Real or not, I spent years with them. I made memories with them, not with the real ones. All of them unforgettable and amazing. I don't know what I'd do if they left, too.

"Please don't leave me," I begged, my hands covering my crying eyes.

"What are you talking about?" Taehyung asked, trying to pry my hands off of my face. "Yah, I'm talking to you."

"Leave him alone, he clearly doesn't want to tell us. Important or not, we have to respect that decision," Namjoon told him. "It's okay, Jimin, you don't have feel obligated to tell us," Namjoon assured me once again, as he always did. That's what made him a great hyung.

"I'm sorry, I'll be happy from now on. I won't worry you guys anymore," I announced, wiping my eyes harshly.

Once I saw the looks on their faces, one of concern and pity, I couldn't keep smiling. I couldn't force myself anymore. I've done it too many times.

"Jimin..," Hoseok said worriedly.

It broke my heart to know that I'm causing them unhappiness. Would telling them relieve them or would it only make things worse?

"You'll hate me...You'll think I'm not your friend or that you're not my friend. I'm afraid of what might happen," I admitted.

"Guys, this seems to be a big deal to him so we have to try and act rationally at whatever he's about to tell us. He trusts us and we trust him," Namjoon said to them, everyone nodding in response. "You have our support. You can tell us now." He nodded his head to tell me that it was okay to tell them. But how does he know it's okay if he doesn't even know what it is?

I took a deep breath and forced myself to speak before I couldn't. "Dr. Min says that I'm in here because I have a delusional disorder and that you guys used to be patients here, too. You were all released years ago, but my mind created another version of you guys so that I could deal with your absence. I didn't want to tell you because I imagined seeing you suddenly turn to dust or fade away if I accepted it. But-"

"-we're still here," Namjoon smiled. "Jimin, I don't care if we're only your imagination. You created us so you could be happy, right?" I nodded my head. "So then we're going to stay and keep you happy."

"I'm...not real?" Taehyung looked at his hands closely. "I knew it," he whispered.

"That's all you had to tell us?" Jungkook asked.

"You're not mad?"

"Of course not. I thought you ate from my secret stash or something."

"You have a secret stash?" Taehyung asked as he got interested.

"N-No."

"But you just said-"

"O-kay!" Jin said loudly to prevent an argument. Everyone knows not to mess with Jungkook. Especially with his food. Jin came closer to me and rested his hands on my shoulders. "Jiminie, I'm glad you told us. Telling us might help you get over us faster. You want to get out of here don't you?" I nodded my head and walked into him, wrapping my arms around his body. "We'll keep you happy until then. Hopefully you get to see us out there."

"Visit us, too!" Taehyung shouted, and I turned my head to look at him.

"I...already did. I saw you and Jungkook at the amusement park."

"Really? Do we look the same?"

"Yeah, just a little older."

"No beard?" He asked in hope.

"No, sorry." Taehyung frowned.

"Are..." Jungkook nervously began. "Are me and Taehyung still together?" He rubbed the side of his arm. He loves Taehyung and even if he doesn't have DPD, he still never leaves Taehyung's side. They're always doing something together, but Jungkook tries to separate themselves for Taehyung's sake. He wanted to teach him independence.

"You guys are still together," I said smiling, Jungkook's lips curling into one as well.

"You hear that, Taehyung?" Jungkook said as he slid his arms across Taehyung's waist, causing him to bite his lip.

"I hope we've been fucking," Taehyung flirted.

"Yah!" Jin chimed in. "Keep your dirty words in your mouth or I'll force it down your throat so you swallow it."

"Is that a threat or a promise?" He teased, earning a smack from Jungkook. Tae fell into a pit of laughter, clinging himself onto Jungkook in attempt to be forgiven. "I'm sorry! You know you're all I want."

Jungkook rolled his eyes. "Whatever." Taehyung pecked Jungkook's cheek and ran his hand down his arm to his hand, holding it tightly.

"I love you," Taehyung smiled so widely as he said it that Jungkook couldn't help but be forced to smile back embarrassed.

"Love you, too." He kissed Tae's cheek back and everyone either gagged or cooed.

"Jimin just told us a big secret, but you two had to steal the show," Jin said.

"Oops," Tae said before pulling Jungkook somewhere so they could be alone.

-end of flashback-

I was glad that I told them. If I had kept it to myself, the secret would've eaten me up. I'm not that great at keeping secrets.

But I know that Yoongi had a lot of them. Hopefully he lets me know them all.

___
End of Chapter