Yoonmin- Delusions [M.YG • P.JM]

8- Questions

Jimin's POV
[still Session 7]

Yoongi kept explaining to me about how Namjoon, Jin, Taehyung, and Jungkook were just in my imagination. He told me that I did know them and they were my friends, but they left the hospital years ago and that I just couldn't process it.

"Take Hoseok for example. Well, the only example. He met you couple months back, and he made you laugh, right?" I nodded at his question, a smile forming when I recalled that day. "So your brain included him in your delusion after he left because you didn't want to let him go. Your delusions are based on what makes you happy."

"But how do I know when my brain is showing me my imagination and my reality? How do I know you're real right now?"

"That's a good question...Um, I don't think you'd be able to break down the facts like I just did. Doesn't that prove I'm real?"

I rubbed my wrists together on my lap, trying to get a hold of my sleeves. "I guess..." Then I looked up in realization. "Wait, are you saying I'm not smart enough?"

"Well, are you?" Poop. He did have a point. I shied away and looked at everywhere but his face. "I'm sorry, I'm not trying to say that you're not smart. It's not your fault we don't exactly offer the best education. I was just trying to say that you're not a doctor and you just can't crack the codes like we were trained to."

"I get it." I shrugged, a sympathetic smile tugging on the corners of his lips. He stayed silent, which made it feel more awkward.

Should I say something?
"So," Yoongi perked up at the introduction to my sentence, "What kind of doctor are you?"

"I'm a psychiatrist. I specialize in mental health, focusing on diagnosing, treating, and dealing with emotional and/or behavior problems of a patient. It's not easy, but I do succeed with a lot of my patients."

"Why'd you become one?" As soon as the question left my mouth, he didn't respond as fast as he did with the last question. He looked down at his pen, his lips pressed together.

"I," he finally said, still not looking up, "was going through a rough time. It was with my dad. And so I started questioning things, and then I asked myself why am I so depressed? Which then lead me to become interested on how the brain works to make us feel this way." His eyes met mine, and I quickly looked away. I didn't want to see the tears that formed as he told his story with a slightly shaky voice. It would make me cry, too. "I'm okay, Jimin. It was a long time ago."

How did he know I- right, he can read my expressions or body language easily.

"The day we went to your parents house...your dad seemed like he still wasn't over whatever happened between you guys." Yoongi sighed and ran his hand through his hair, leaning back on the arm rest of the sofa.

"He's just a homophobic fu-" I stopped myself as I remembered I was with a patient. Not just any, Jimin. I could never say such things around him.

"What's homophobic?"

"It's when you don't like when two people of the same gender like each other. So if a boy and a boy or a girl and a girl liked each other in a way where they want to kiss or spend forever with." I formed an 'o' with my mouth in understanding.

"What am I?" I asked in curiosity.

"You mean what your sexual orientation is?"

"My what?"

"Which gender you tend to have feelings for. Sexually."

"What's sexually?" I said slowly as it was foreign to my tongue. I saw Yoongi gulp, and he fixed his white coat although there wasn't anything wrong with it.

"It means like...you want to be with them."

"But I'm with you. Does that make me homophobic?"

"No, Jimin. Homophobic means you don't like when two genders like each other. Homo means same, so the right way for you to ask your question is does that make me homo? But we don't really say it like that, we use the term gay since you're a boy."

"Am I? Gay?"

"I can't decide that for you. There's a lot of different ways to love someone, Jimin. It's not simple."

Yoongi's POV

How did this session suddenly turn into this??

"There's different ways?"

"Yeah. I'm not very good at explaining things, Jimin. And I don't want to confuse you. I can ask your tutor to talk about these things to you if you'd like."

"No! I want you to tell me."

Shit, what am I supposed to say??

"Well, for instance, I like both boys and girls."

"Do you like me?" Jimin's expression turned to full on curiosity, and I could see him leaning slightly towards me unconsciously.

"O-Of course, I like you, Jimin."

"You want to kiss me?" I felt my ears burning at his question.

"N-No, Jimin, I like you as a friend." But as I said those words, it sounded a little bit like a lie.

"How do I know if I like someone?" I smiled at his innocence. He was so eager to know about this topic. It was all so knew to him.

"You'll know. You just do."

"Does someone tell me?"

"It doesn't work like that," I said, chuckling. "You get this feeling that you want to keep seeing this person. That you don't want to see them leave. You get the urge to be with them all the time."

"Like Taehyung?"

"Liking someone isn't a personality disorder. It's normal and it's good for you."

"Hm...Okay, I think I get it."

I let out a relieved sigh. Talking to him about this almost had me confused.

"I think I like you, Hyung."

___
End of Chapter