Yoonmin- Delusions [M.YG • P.JM]

7- Session 7

Yoongi's POV

I sat in my office, reviewing Jimin's case. I reread my notes to make sure I didn't forget to write something down. Figuring out the complexity of his delusions were ironically easy. When he told me his friends all had mental disorders, which lead me to think that they could've been real people admitted to this hospital, I searched their name in the online system, and sure enough, each of them used to be patients.

Jeon Jungkook, as Jimin said, had PTSD, but was later released due to improvement in behavior toward doctors. He might have a small phobia of them, but he'll get by.

Kim Taehyung did have DPD, and probably still does, but the clinginess is said to have been brought down like 75 notches. He's probably with Jungkook since Jimin said that's who he depended on while they were here together.

Kim Seokjin had Dissociative Identity Disorder, or better known as having multiple personalities, but had only 2 in total. Very weird since people with multiple personality disorders usually had more. He's lucky, but at the same time he isn't. His personalities were actually like having an angel and devil on your shoulders. The angel, his protector, was named Jaeseok. He helped Jin in situations he couldn't tolerate. The list of situations in the notes were: intimidated by another patient, storms, or when he saw a doctor holding a needle. Jaeseok was there to save him. The other personality was named Dantae, described to be like the devil. He is the persecutor; he came out when Jin was the most emotionally vulnerable. He'd come out to feed Jin with more guilt than he was already dealing with. This was most severe when he was first admitted, but began to be suppressed after years of treatment. After Jin got used to the health system, Dantae rarely made an appearance. So since the situations that needed to happen in order for Jaeseok to come out wasn't too often, and Dantae was able to be tamed, Jin remained himself a majority of the time. Then doctors saw that he was stable enough to be released. It was also noted that him and Namjoon were very close, which helped keep Jin in a good mood, which meant Dantae didn't have take over.

Kim Namjoon has synesthesia. He didn't even have to be here. He could lead a normal life, with no social or functional problems. He even has an IQ of 148! You wouldn't even know he had the condition. He was here because the constant flying colors and confusing combination of his senses being activated at the same time was too much for him. He wanted to get rid of it. But he soon realized that it became a part of his life and didn't want to continue treatment. Of course the doctors couldn't deny him of his wishes because he didn't really need the treatment in the first place. He was capable of making a decision on his own.

***

I spoke with Jimin for a while, greeting him and getting to know how his day went. He is aware he's here because there's something wrong with him, but he doesn't understand that his delusions, his friends, aren't real. That's what I'm here for. I have to make him realize that his friends aren't real- well, they are, just not present with him anymore. I have to be the one to break that news to him. And today was that day.

"Jimin," I said, a serious look on my face.

"Yeah, hyung?" He sat cross legged on the sofa, his hands holding onto his ankles. How am I supposed to tell this little boy that he's imagining his friends and that they're not really here? He probably sees them with us right now.

I cleared my throat, nothing there in particular. I just needed to rid of the horrible feeling that was circling my gut and making it's away up. "You've been here for, what? Ten years, right?" He nodded. "And you still don't know why you're here."

He shook his head. "Well I know I'm here because I'm sick. But where? I feel fine."

I studied his face; how his cheek bones were prominent and soft, how his eye-lids were puffy and how his eyes sparkled in curiosity, how his brown locks rested perfectly on his head, how he was just so tiny I could reach my arms around him and they'd touch.

I got the courage to tell him, and I made myself speak before I could never bring myself to say it. "You have what's called a delusional disorder. It means your imagination gets mixed with what's real and you can't tell them apart." He tilted his head in confusion.

"But I don't see monsters or talking animals."

"It's not that, Jimin...It's your friends."

"That doesn't make sense!" Jimin giggled loudly, forcing him to lean back a little. "They're right here. Look, Jungkook and Tae are playing cards next to us and Namjoon is watching Jin sleep. Don't you see them?"

My heart dropped.

"That's the thing, Jimin. I don't. No one else but you can see them."

"But they talk..."

"Your mind is making you imagine that they are."

"I don't believe you."

"I know y-"

"They're real! How can you say that when they're right here where they can hear you? They're all looking at you right now, confused looks on their faces. Don't you think it'll hurt their feelings if you say things like they're not real?"

I stayed silent, watching as Jimin's chest rises and falls. He was upset. The way his brows creased, the way he pressed his lips together. I felt sorry for what I had said. But it's a part of my job to say so. Most of my patients leave the hospital better than when they came in, and that's what I'm going to do with Jimin. I want to help him, he can't depend on his friends forever.

Not when they're not actually here and I am.

___
End of Chapter