Obnoxious Oxygen

Chapter Thirty Six

I ignored mom's observing eyes when I sat with her on the table for breakfast. We haven't yet spoken a word since yesterday after I told him I love Oxygen, if she was expecting me to take it back then she's not getting it.

Last night when she saw Oxygen dropping me at the gates of our house from where she stood at the veranda, she doesn't say anything but the scowl on her face is unmistakable.

"Shaun McMillan passed away. It was all over the news." Mom broke the silence.

My hands froze from spreading butter for my second bread. The beating of my heart went abnormal at the mention of his name. Am I hearing things right? He's dead? My grip on the knife tightened, if that was true then I won't be asking what's the cause of it. I will just be happy his cruelty had come to an end. I have nothing good to say, I just moved my shoulder a little and continued buttering the toast.

"Suicide, Gabby." Mom said. "Reports says that he shot himself dead."

Suicide. So he killed himself? Might be his guilt whispering inside his head that the bullet loaded in his gun was for him and so he shoot himself. I started eating my bread like I didn't hear anything, plainly because I wasn't interested.

"Aren't you going to send your condolences to his family? You have to at least call them. You'd been friends with him, Gabbana. People even expected more from the two of you-"

"It's you who expected it, mom." I cut her off, bringing in the topic about Shaun is getting in my nerves. He's the last person I ever wanna talk about. He'd done so much to ruin any kind of history we had together. I've put those into trash a long time ago. That's not friendship that we had because you wouldn't hurt someone you considered as friend. "I was never attracted to him, not even a dot of interest. It's just you who keep on pushing me to go through dates with him, I didn't like it. I never did. If you want to call them then do it yourself, I'm not doing it."

"Stubborn as a donkey, aren't we?" She said after a sharp inhale. I know that tone, mom's irritated. I can't remember when was the last time I heard her that way, probably when I was six and was so iron-willed not to attend ballet class because I don't feel like dancing. She then called me pigheaded and now I'm a donkey. "Looks like nahahawa ka na sa bastos na lalaking iyon."

Wrong, mother. You can't just insult Oxygen without getting on my last nerve. I put down the bread on the plate and matched her eyes. "Bakit, mommy? Kailan ka ba binastos ni Oxygen? Hindi ba't ikaw ang nang babastos sa kanya? How many times had he been here and how may time have you shown him a little of your hospitality? I can't remember."

"Are you saying na ako ang bastos?!" Tumaas ang kaniyang tinig, tila ba hindi niya inaasahan na ganoon ang aking magiging reaksyon.

"No, mom. What I'm saying is that, before you accuse people of being something, you got to look at yourself in the mirror, make sure you're not any of it." I said. Standing up. I've lost my appetite, I think this is too much drama for now. "And that when you judge others, the issue is almost always with you."

I didn't wait for her to rebut, I walked out on her. Never in my life had I thought I'll be doing this to my mom, but she pushed me enough.

Days gone by, Oxygen stopped coming here. Not because he doesn't wanna see me but because he has a lot of things to do. It was all over the news. How bad the Cameron Hotel in Manila was doing. I didn't know so much about how it runs but I know there's a huge problem going on to make it to all the newspapers and headlines. I can't imagine how hard this must be for Oxygen and his family. And mom, spoiling him rudeness won't help.

I just finished a tub of Oreo ice cream and still think it wasn't enough. If I wasn't pregnant and I did this, I'd soon hung my head. I know that pregnancy will make you eat a lot but I what I'm not aware is a lot means way beyond how it was spelled.