Obnoxious Oxygen

Chapter Forty Six

The moon winked at me through the clouds above. I smiled, awhile ago I tried counting the stars but the sky appears to have so many of it this evening, I lost count. When I was little, I love to do this every night with dad and now, I'm doing it with Oxygen and I'm planning to do it with him for the rest of our lives. Oh, he won't mind.

"Namiss kita," bulong niya habang hinahalikan ang aking buhok.

I leaned relax on his chest, resting my head over his shoulder. He chuckled on what I did, one of his hand dropped a caress on my bump.

"Namiss ko rin 'to," dagdag pa niya. "Sorry, baby."

"Hmm?" My hand went up to reach for the side of his face, hindi naman niya ako pinahirapan at siya na ang mismong nag-lagay nun. My fingers run through his growing stubbles. "Shave na natin 'to ulit mamaya."

He kissed my inner palm. "I love you, Gabby."

With that, I smiled. "Sometimes, I feel like just saying it isn't strong to express how much I feel it for you. After everything that happened, Oxygen. I realized that I can't lose you, for a day, a couple of days, whatever, I can't lose you. It made me crazy. I need to pull up a strong façade but it's killing me in without having you by my side."

I told him that, I couldn't lie. I couldn't pretend that I'm always strong, I can be but only if I'm with him. All the revelations I'm still trying to absorb happens to be the string that will bind the two of us more. Those were the secrets that unveiled. I'm not mad at him for keeping it from me. I understand. It was too confidential and I know that he didn't tell me that not because he didn't trust me enough but because he loves me enough to protect me from those secrets.

"I'm sorry," was all there is for him to say.

"If you're sorry for keeping it from me, I'd understand. At least now I know you deeper." I held his hand resting above my stomach and closed my eyes. Feeling the sea breeze touching our skin.

This afternoon, Oxygen asked me to runaway with him. We drove far back to his private place, by the beach, where it all started. He didn't tell anyone about where we're going so I'm pretty sure that right now they must be freaking out. But I don't care, for as long as I'm with him, I'm good.

"Why are they doing this, Oxygen? The Cosa Nostra. The Pentagon." I sighed, I tried to hide the worry in my voice though I don't know if I'm succeeding. "It's dangerous."

"I don't think so." He disagreed. "The most dangerous thing you can do in life is to play it safe. Or maybe it is. But I prefer dangerous freedom than peaceful slavery."

I'm not understanding it but I won't argue with him on that thing. That's his life, I'm a part of it now but that was him before I even came in. I don't want to take something away from what he's used to, love is not like that.

"Sorry, hindi kita napaalalahanan na magulo buhay ko." He breathed. "I've never seen this coming. I'm all set to living my life alone, 'yung sasapat na sa akin 'yung pamilya ko. That I wouldn't be asking for more, but you happened. And I wanted you more, wanted more from you."

Again, collywobbles played with the trio inside me. Oxygen and his words.

"I was thirteen when I discovered about Cosa Nostra and Pentagon. And I decided that I wanna be a part of it. Kami ni Zach. Mas pinili namin 'yung Cosa Nostra, nung una wala lang dahil siguro mas madumi mas exciting. O dahil mas bagay sa amin iyon. Pero habang tumatagal na mas nagiging bukas ang isip namin at ang pangunawa namin sa bagay na 'yon, I realized that it wasn't just about the thrill it give me, it's already a part of me. And I don't think I could stop doing it." He tensed at his confession, tightening his arms around me. It was as if he's scared he might lose me. "I'm a bad guy, Gabgab. But I swear, I won't hurt you."