Obnoxious Oxygen

Chapter Forty Seven

My mother made broken look beautiful and strong look invincible in my eyes. She walked with the world on her shoulders and made it look like a pair of wings. I used to think that if I turn into my mother, or even half of the woman she is, I'll consider myself a successful one.

But seeing her now, washed-out, sleeping above the bed with IV's attached on her hand. She's far from the mother I know. Her weight loss was drastic, I should've noticed it the last time I saw her, which was days ago. But I was too preoccupied.

"Her doctor sedate her, she needs more rest. She'd been suffering sleepless nights lately." Tita Nisha stood beside me and watched mom, too. "I didn't call your dad because I'm not sure if your mom will be happy if I did."

"Dad is what she needs right now."

"And you have to convince her to admit that. Gabby, what your mom's been suffering isn't easy. She needs all the support she could get. We have to help her accept what's really going on, it's affecting her health and it's getting worse." Her arm went over my shoulder the moment a tear fell from my eyes. "When she beg you to come with her and leave Oxygen, I was close to leaving her, too. But I realized, she wasn't the Camille I knew anymore. Something's off. So instead, I stayed and talk to her. It was so hard for her to tell me the truth because she's scared, she doesn't wanna admit it to herself. She thought she'd been dealing with so much that she doesn't wanna deal with it at all. When I told her that I'll always be here for her, she believed me. Though I'm not enough to convince her for medications and therapies. It will take more than me to get her do that."

Mom overdosed herself with melatonin. An attempted suicide. She might've died and I can't be more thankful that Tita Nisha came before it's over. She was worried when mom haven't returned any of her calls and so she came over to check for her. I owe her my mother's life.

"I've planned to talk to you about it. Papalipasin ko lang sana ang nangyari kay Oxygen, but what happened tonight forced me to do it earlier or do it before we're too late."

Months ago, mom has been diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder. That was when I left her to live alone and by herself thinking that maybe it could help her think how much she needs dad. She'd been suffering numbers of sleepless nights, she slowed down physically and mentally, loss her interest about everything and when she started to see or hear things that doesn't exist, she's alarmed that she's having hallucinations. After getting her condition confirmed by a professional, instead of dealing with it she choose not to deal with it at all.

She refused therapies and medication. She felt alone and she has succumbed herself to the idea of being alone and sad. She sent every help in the house, home. She'd been living in the mansion all by herself and I didn't even know it. Where was I when she needed me?

I feel like my body is sinking along with an awareness that I failed to do something that I should've done.

"I'm calling dad." I announced. "She kept everything to herself because she's scared that people will judge her? Tita Nisha, people who loves you won't judge you. I love mom. Dad loves her, too. If she only knew how much, if she only open her eyes she'll see it."

Tita Nisha turned a nod at me and gave me a wan smile. "Do what you think you should."

It takes someone really brave to be a mother, someone strong to raise a child and someone special to love someone more than herself. The moment mom open her eyes, I was there, holding her hand. It reminds me of how much she'd been a mother to me. To all recitals I had growing up, she was always there, bringing a stage mom to a whole new level. When I first experience menstruation and entered puberty, mom is the one who taught me everything I should know.