The Voices and I

chapter two

"They're getting worse."

I was sitting at the dining table as I had done the day before having my usual morning talk with Dr Evans.

"What's getting worse?" she asked, trying to act absolutely oblivious to the situation and I swear I face planted the table, which was rather hard might I add. Most of the time Dr Evans was alright to talk to, I mean sometimes it was a bit awkward but I didn't expect it not to be. But it was days like this when she asked dumb questions that she definitely already knew the answer to that really irritated me. A range of things came to mind when she asked me that but I knew better than to open my mouth. It's not like I wanted any more of my life story to be added to her little notebook of wonders so I stayed quiet.

"Ivy they're not real you know that. They're just auditory hallucinations, nothing else, no one is in your head trying to speak to you."

Oh, I'm real alright.

"Don't you think I know that! You've told me that a hundred thousand times! Do you think that helps me? Your opinion on whether they're real or not is absolutely irrelevant! What, do you think that you if say abracadabra they'll just disappear or something?"

I didn't even give her time to think of a response before I closed the laptop shut. It's not like it mattered whether we had the full session or not because either way she was still getting paid.

The house was quiet, which was something I found myself enjoying quite a lot. My parents, again, as always, as per usual, were at work, when weren't they at work? They were gone so often it felt like I lived on my own. I might as well have for all the good it did me. The house was so big and empty it hardly looked lived in, more like an ikea showroom than a home. I couldn't decide what was worse; being in this house alone day, after day, after day, or going to that school day, after day, after day.

~~~

Funnily enough, school wasn't too bad that day...for the most part. I entered with my head down and my hair in my face and it seemed like it really was enough to make me invisible to the naked eye. There were no hushed whispers and odd stares. Everyone just went about their business and left me alone and I definitely wasn't complaining. In fact, it brought a little smile to face and I almost felt...happy? Is that what that feeling was?

Pathetic. I don't even know why that friend of yours sticks with you. What's her name? Emma, was it?

Why did they always have to turn up on the days when things when things were actually going well?

I bet she secretly hates you but just sticks with you because she feels sorry for you.

I mean what is there to like? All you do is sit around and feel sorry for yourself.

No wonder everyone stays away from you, you're a freak.

It's only a matter of time before she leaves you as well, you know.

"Miss Anderson, is there a problem?" The sound of my history teachers voice snapped me out of the trance. Luckily for me, the class was loud and no one was really paying attention to the teacher and I.

I'm just saying.

"Yes, I'm fine Miss." I smiled as wide as I could to convince her, but just like Dr Evans, she didn't look like she was buying it. It looked like I was becoming less and less convincing by the day.

"Go to the bathroom and splash some water on your face, i'm sure that will make you feel a bit more bright and awake." she urged with a soft smile and a wink. She was definitely one of my better teachers, though i'm not sure why she became one because she couldn't control a class even if it would guarantee her winning the lottery.