self loved | e.d.

ten

the rest of the school day didn't happen for me, i drove home after my incident and called it a day until night time.

vanessa doesn't care if she goes or not. she told me i can decided for the both of us to go to the party tonight.

thoughts exploded in my head, over thinking of what could happen if we did go. and things we could do if we stayed home.

partying isn't my thing. the last time i went was the weekend before i came to the new school.

heated bodies moving up against each other, dancing wasted to boosted music through out a house, shaking the walls and ground beneath.

drugs fuming around a house, already making your eyes bleed with alcohol in your veins.

ethan told us it's the same house i was at a couple weeks ago. so i remember pretty well from that experience.

vibrations came onto my lap, referring i got a text message.

my thumb slides across the smooth glass opening up vanessa's contact.

8:07 pm
nessa: are we going? but first, do you even want to go?

8:07 pm
me: i don't care if we go or not.

8:08 pm
nessa: so a yes..?

8:08 pm
me: yea, i'll pick you up in a bit

my feet dragged on the hard wood floor after lifting myself out of bed.
____

vanessa sat down on her front porch steps outside of her house, reading a book.

the same one she's been reading for the past couple of weeks.

the corners of her mouth lifted up after looking up seeing my car pulling into the driveway.

she swiftly put her book on the patio table and ran towards the car, hopping in the passenger seat.

"let's go!" she squealed in excitement, buckling her body up.

my hand pulled the car in reverse, backing out of the drive way, heading towards the party.

cars filed down the street, leaving no parking spaces us our car.

"we are going have to walk, nessa." i put the car in park down two blocks away from the house.

vanessa sighed jumping out of car, but still excited for the new night beginning.

music blared out from the closed windows and sealed doors, muffling it a tiny bit.

when we opened up the front door, different smells and heat over flowed us.

bodies swimming in sweat holding red plastic solo cups in their hands while dancing to random songs booming from the many of speakers solace's around the house, pressed up against each other.

"let's go find the twins!" my voice tried to scream over the music.

vanessa nodded her head, agreeing.