The Industry

Broken

Colson

Once Casie and Valeria got settled in they went off to somewhere else in the house. Ashleigh and I were sat on the couch lounging. It seemed like she had something to say to me but she hasn't said anything. I looked towards waiting for her to say something until she finally did.

"You're doing it again aren't you?" Ashleigh questioned.

I sighed what she's going to lecture me now, "What are you talking about?"

"Those drugs Colson, Valeria texted me letting me know what happened. Why are you going down this path again, didn't you learn from the last time you were in this position."

Right the last time when I was close to overdosing. I see why she's concerned but this is nothing like last time. If anything I'm using less than lasts time.

"You don't have to worry about it Ash, I'm doing fine. See I'm coherent, I'm walking and talking regularly. I'm okay, now can we end this conversation."

"I'm sorry that I'm actually concerned about your well being. The f*ck man just get your shit together for Casie at least."

I kept silent for the remainder of the conversation and let her lecture on because I had nothing else to contribute. It's not like I haven't heard this speech over and over again. Once I felt like she was truly finished talking I got up and went in search of Val and Cass. They're a little too quiet, they must be up to something. I walked up the stairs and heard some talking which sounded like my daughter.

"Do you like my dad?"

"I do like your dad, that's why he and I are friends," Valeria stated.

Damn, she just friend-zoned me hardcore.

"Can you please be honest with me, how do you really feel about my dad?"

"What do you mean Casie?"

"I saw the way you looked at him and that's the way people look at each other when they're in love."

In love that can't be it, my daughter is watching too many of those romcoms with her mother.

"I uh, I like your dad but I just don't think we're right for each other."

"Why? Is my dad not good enough for you," Casie questioned.

"No that's not the case, it's just I'm not good enough for him." Valeria let out a sigh.

Casie stopped questioning her and the room fell into an awkward silence. Now is the time for me to walk into Casie' bedroom but I knocked first so I wouldn't startle them.

"Hey, guys what are you up to in here?"

They both chimed in, "Girl stuff."

"Oh I guess I should leave you then"

"No, you can stay if you want to dad."

Valeria

I'm getting grilled by an eight-year-old. I wonder if Colson put her up to this to find out if I have feelings for him.  It doesn't really sound like something a eight-year-old would randomly do. She's probably just being protective of her dad. I just can't say I love him, it would crush me deeply if I actually fall for him because I know those feelings won't be reciprocated. He doesn't seem like the type of person to settle down so why should I be the one to attempt to change that. I would be out of my god damn mind to fall for him.

"Colson can I talk to you alone for a moment."

He nodded and followed me out of Casie' room to his bedroom and closed the door shut.

"What's up, what's this about," he questioned me.

"I think we're sending the wrong message to your daughter. She thinks that you and I are together. She's so innocent I don't want to crush her hopes of us getting together. It can't happen Colson and you know why."

"We aren't sending her any kind of message. She's a child with a big imagination. No, I don't know why you keep pushing me away so much, what we had going on with us was great. I miss being like that, I don't know what you want from me. I'm giving you the attention, I'm supporting you. What more do you want Valeria."

"You don't get it to do you. The only reason I'm pushing you away is because I know you and I don't want the same things. I can't be with you in the way that you want me, which just happens to be sexually. I feel like I'm being used and then thrown out. The next guy that I have sex with, will be the guy I'm dating happily and in love. You need to talk to a professional Colson, you need help. If not for yourself do it for your daughter."

"Ha okay, you weren't complaining when you were getting your back blown out. Well, you know what I was about, so I don't know why you're acting like you don't know that I didn't want any relationship, it was all no strings attached; you think you're f*cking better than me talking down to me, what the f*ck is up with that. I don't need to seek professional help I'm good and my daughter is doing just fine."

"F*ck you Colson Baker, when did I ever say I'm better than you. I'm a friend that cares about your well being. I don't like the path you're heading down and I'm sorry I don't want to sit back and watch you crash and burn. I've already seen my mother go down that path and I don't want to see you there. Please just go see a therapist, I don't want to fight with you no more."

Colson opened the door and walked out the room not before slamming the door behind him.

I just need to get out of here it's just been all too much for one day. Hopefully he takes my advice and seeks help. He's broken, I know what it looks like to be broken because I've been there. Your mental health is nothing to joke about.

Unedited