- she wished -

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Sometimes she wished
there were things
they just knew.

It's not their fault,
because she hasn't told them
so how could they,
but still.

She wished they knew
why she hesitates
at pretty much everything,
and struggles to meet
their eyes sometimes.

Why she can't make
idle conversation,
but can't talk about
the real stuff either.

Why the thought of
two hands together
brings back the panic
she thought she'd gotten rid of.

She doesn't want to tell them,
because how do you
lead up to that
and she can't talk about
the serious stuff anyway,
but sometimes
she just wished they knew.

(she just wished they understood)

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