Unbreakable

- when does it stop -

It crept up suddenly,
the way a summer breeze
somehow becomes a gale
without you even noticing
until it's much too late to find cover.

This feeling that I can't describe
but seems to have become
my second home recently.

A buzzing in my chest
like I've just run a marathon
or performed in front of
hundreds of people
or found out news I've been
waiting to hear for weeks.

A fluttering in my stomach
that really feels more like a roar,
elephants pounding across an open plain
or a waterfall crashing down
from far above.

A smile I can't seem to stop
and the quickening of my heartbeat
that no amount of deep breathing can steady.

Pressure building and building
inside me until I almost
couldn't hold it back anymore,
dying down
but only for a second,
before it comes back
just as strong as before.

I thought things would be easier now
but I guess I never really thought about what that would mean.
Because everything is the same
and everything is different.
Which is exactly as confusing
as it sounds.