World's most famous band 'Icy Love' is at the peak of their career, but lead singer Yuta is trying to forget his past, depression, the empty lyrics book in affairs and a luxurious wild playboy lifestyle. He's only looking for pleasure till someone u...
Ella found her way to the bedroom, there was a bathroom behind it so she took a cold shower, before she dressed up wrapping her wet hair up in a dry towel.
She took her time to dry it then made her way back on the upper deck, her skin still filled with butterflies, her body still begging for so much more. She walked into the main room to see Ten and Amanda kissing on the couch both too lost in each other to notice her so she moved back quietly searching the ship to find Taeil dressed up p, his hair still a little wet, leaning against a barrier watching the dark water.
He had noticed her as he turned around his eyes meeting hers, her heartbeat speeding up uncontrollably.
"I'm sorry Ella I hope you can forgive me," he said honestly.
She blushed hard, her hands were trembling she had no idea what to say or do his closeness was making her uncomfortable.
"Why have you done it?" she asked.
"I wanted to prevent it so I left but you came," he became red.
"So it's all my fault yes! I'm the stupid one!" she raised her voice.
"No it's my fault that I can't keep my feelings on the leash," he lowered his head. "Yuta came by this evening, he said he and Sicheng had been intimate and I... I couldn't think about anything else anymore so I decided to leave before you come, to work the night through in Ten's factory to forget my desire."
She felt something very strange inside, she wasn't even sure if it was pleasant or scary maybe both.
"Sicheng and Yuta had done it?" she asked her voice very shaky.
"Yes they had oral sex but still," Taeil looked at her, his eyes still burning.
"Why? I don't untested why is Sicheng doing it so easily?"
"Because he's a man, he was taught to think about his desire openly. We're living in a weird culture Ella that's why Sicheng can stand to his desire and you have to deny it," Taeil trembled.
"Taeil it's not," she became scared.
"Tell me aren't you sometimes picturing it, willing to have sex with me?" he asked when she moved a few steps back.
"You can't ask things like that!" she said.
"Why can't I ask? Isn't it normal to experience desire? Isn't it a part of being human so why does humanity decided to pretend that half of the population isn't experiencing it or willing it?" he was watching her, his face filled with anger and despair. "It's all wrong from the beginning to teach girls they need to stay pure, they need to be that and this, they can't say they want or that they don't want.
You have all the rights to say yes and no whenever you want to. It's a sick culture Ella, where men are giving themselves the rights to decide about the opposite gender's intimacy, body, virginity.
They made laws saying when a woman should be a virgin or shouldn't be a virgin, when she can when she can not. And it's not our business at all, we have no right to it. If we can decide it's only about our own body - nothing more nothing less.
It's only your decision, your sacred right to do whatever you want to do with your body, with you virginity with everything, it's only up to you if you want to lose it or keep it, and who you want to do it with. It's equally ok if you decide to do it with a woman or a man, or both, or with no one.
It's the only fair and right way to treat another person, and I'm sorry for my sexist male behaviour. I respect you Ella I respect each of your choices, just please be honest with yourself. If one day you decide to do it, do it not because of some stupid wedding or ring, or your father's rules, or society rules, do it only, only if you really truly feel it's the right time and you want it with your whole body and mind," Taeil took a long breath.
He was watching her while she was standing there speechless.
"So sorry Ella I acted like an asshole tonight, I was trying to use your body for my own pleasure," he walked to her caressing her palm delicately. "I'm really sorry for it."
She nodded moving her arms around his neck pulling him into a tight hug, yes he was right, he had acted stupidly, she was actings stupidly to deny her obvious longing for him. Wasn't Amanda more true to herself letting it all go, making out with Ten just because she wanted to.
Ella rested her head on Taeil's shoulder looking at the dark water in front of her. Maybe it wasn't that important - virginity, or no virginity, but she was really unable to let go of her own rule to not to do it with Taeil before the wedding day. Six moths, her father was counting a shiver ran down her spine, she suddenly realized six months were way not enough for her to decide. She needed more time a lot more time, and Yuta had given her an option, an option she should consider as it was the best opportunity that has ever opened up in front of her, but she couldn't leave Taeil who had given her all his love and his future.
She closed her eyes trying to let go of all the worries simply cuddling into him pushing the decision off for the months ahead.
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Thank you for your beautiful support. I'm happy to hear you are also enjoying the Taeil/Ella chapters. What do you think about Taeil's words and Ella postponing the decision?
