Gintama; Takasugi x reader (Finale) [Take Me With You]

Chapter 3 {Y/N}

     My unconsciousness contorts to a conscious mind at a gentle touch, gently tracing along my cheek. Every fiber of my being tingles at the contact as if the cells in my body are reaching for home.

I no longer know if I would wake to another fantasy of restless hands clawing my body and their dead cold hold crawling after my sanity. Another fantasy of nightmares. I'm no longer certain if I can open my eyes to greet the world where some things appear too good to be true. My world.

My eyes flutter open and blink over the blur when they do. The sight of the quilted mattress beside me the first thing I see before my eyes become too impatience to adjust it on the person sitting right next to me. My lips part slightly at the overwhelming feeling inside my heart as I fully awake to meet with a soft, vulnerable look from the person who seems the opposite.

He smiles when he sees me awake. A gesture so bright as the rising sun yet so darkly engulfing that I want to be drowned in it forever. A gesture in which, too, sends an unfathomable comfort to my inner turmoil and neutralizes it with great pain.

     "You were crying," Shinsuke softly mutters, his thump toying with my moistened cheek. Then the softness in his look wavers as if it takes effort for him to keep it present again. With the lightness of his tone still there, he speaks again. "Another nightmare?"

At his question, I'm reminded of the horrible visions that plaster themselves all over the place when darkness and silence surround my mind. I think I can see them now, haunting and whispering possibilities that shake me whole. And between all those awful dreams are the sight of crimson, of blood, scattered everywhere.

Shinsuke tilts my chin so that I stare at him with blank eyes for a moment. Then in another, his expression tightens with concern at the look I'm giving him. It's just a flash, nothing else. A flash of delusion that smears his face with blood and contorts it in pain.

I jolt upright and hurl myself to his chest, startling him. Forcing my eyes shut, I do the same thing with the awful illusion. I sink deep in the crook of his neck and clutch his body like holding onto a life I'm going to lose.

     "What happened suddenly?" he asks. His hand finds its way to my back and strokes along my spine. His unspoken worry accompanies the silence that follows.

At his warmth and voice, at the stark contradiction of the awful things I see behind my mind that could threaten my own sanity, this is too good to be true. Of having his arms my around shaken self, of knowing that he is simply here at all becomes no more of anything I can ever ask for. A relief so aching surfaces at each stroke I feel his hand on me. I burst to tears.

At my sudden outburst, Shinsuke can't help but jests at me. "I see you're no more different than a child," he teases. His voice vibrates deep within his throat and I cling onto him until I manage to calm down.

I loosen my grip around his back, my being too addicted to being held like a child that it cries to be back in his secure hold. I send a look at the captain through wet eyes. At his smirk, I playfully hit him.

     "I'm not a child," I grumpily mumble, wiping my face. I even have to stifle a hiccup. Shinsuke catches the quick lurk in my chest and he quietly chuckles.

Embarrassed, I turn away from him and forget to muffle another hiccup.

     "Go and change," the captain suggests. "I'll tell someone to bring you tea."

I turn back to face him and smile at his consideration, the gesture feels strange but slowly adjusts. I nod.

     "And another thing." The softness of his beautiful sunlit face vanishes as it hardens with solemn and concentration. My smile fades away the same. "About last night," he pauses, inspecting my reaction, "I want you to tell me what was that man doing."