Seducing My Bully (BWWM)

Chapter 25-The return

I said no.

How could I marry Matt and I haven't fully processed Jin's death? I wanted to find out more but I was afraid to ask. I didn't even want to come to the funeral. It was too hard. And to think the last time I saw him I was so cold. I wish I could take it back. I wish I would have kissed him, I wish I would have said he would be a great father...I wish I told him- that I loved him.

I didn't want to move on

I didn't want to forget about him.

This hurt.

It hurt too much.

The pain was so unbearable. I would never wish this on my worst enemy.

I isolated myself from my family. I spent most of my days on my bed, just wasting my life away.

My mom and brother came down to visit. It helped for a while but it didn't last long. Every time I thought about Jin made me break down. Dream has been pretending it wasn't bothering her. But I know she cries behind close doors. She was just like her dad; showed lack of emotions. I didn't know what to do. I knew I had to be strong..but I just lost the father of my kids.

He got blown up into pieces

Would I rather him been shot? Did he have a painless death? What was his last thought?

I sighed.

It's been two weeks. Two goddamn weeks. All I've been doing is feeling worthless. I still wasn't over it. I just laid in my bed every chance that I got. I didn't go out like I used to, I just took care of my kids, and locked myself in my room. I couldn't even stand looking at Matt either. He looks just like Jin and it was just painful.

He rarely came to see me ever since I rejected his proposal.

That changed.

After I took Dream to school, I went straight back home. Cindy was feeding Junior by the time I got back. She tried to have a conversation with me but I wasn't having it. I went straight to my room and laid there; covering my whole body with the blankets just weeping again. I held on to the pink blanket. It comforted me a little bit.

I was comfortable and was about to cry myself to sleep when my door burst open. I didn't even sit up to check who it was. The specimen tugged on the blanket. I held on tightly. "Get up" he ordered. It was Matt. I wasn't stronger then him, so he was able to easily peel the blankets off of me. He still had his shades on. He looked so cute today; he wore some nice dress pants and a tight collard shirt. His hair was combed back, making his face appealing to the eye.

God. He looked so much like Jin

"Get up Quinn, this isn't healthy" he said reaching for my arm. I flinched back, but he still managed to grab onto the pink blanket. "Let go" I said. His grip only got tighter. We started playing tug of war with it. I tried to kick him off it but he held on really tight. When I thought I got the best of him, he gave one hard tug; retrieving it easily. Furious I stood on my bed "Get out of my room! And give me back the blanket!"

"Why? So you could hold on to it and cry some more? My brother is dead Quinn, that doesn't mean you should be too-

"You don't control my life Matt" I said jumping of the bed and getting in his face as if he could see it. "If I want to cry, let me do it! Let me grief in peace-

"We both know you're not going to get over it anytime soon"

I rolled my eyes. How is he so calm? His brother got blown up into pieces and he's telling me to calm down?

Matt walked over to my window and let some sun in. My eyes almost burned. I don't know why he won't give me the respect to let me grief. Cindy, Jackson, my mother, even Dream has been giving me space to cry all my emotions out.