ForthBeam - This Is It✅

16 - Father

Father wasn't at work when I got to his office. He was on a two-day business trip, I was told. I drove home, deciding that I'll wait for him there. I couldn't get in touch with anyone while I was at home because I didn't have my phone, and I didn't have anyone's phone number memorized.

On the second day, I spent most of the day in the living room, just waiting for father to walk in. I waited until the wee hours of the next day, but he still did not come. I had my stepmom call him to find out why he wasn't back yet, and he said he was having some problems with the deal he was working on and would therefore be staying a few more days.

I kept myself from getting in my head too much by indulging my step brother. I played with him every day after he got back from school. Those four days I had to wait for father to come back from his business trip seemed like the longest four days of my life. At night, when I was alone, I couldn't help but get in my own head. I even spent time rehearsing how the conversations might go. After father got back, he was so tired he couldn't talk to me until the next day.

"Are you on midterm holidays?" Father asked as he sat at his desk in his home office. It was a little after noon. I was barely holding on to my courage after having enough time to think of the very many scenarios which could play out today. None of the scenarios I'd imagined were in my favor because I'd spent time thinking of all the things that could go wrong and none of the ones that could go right.

"No." I answered briefly.

"You skipped classes? Whatever the reason is, I hope it's more important than school." I felt my palms get wet with sweat. I trembled a little with the way father was regarding me with a very serious and hard expression.

"I...umm...it's umm..." I fumbled for the right words, words I'd practiced every day while I waited for his return. I cleared my throat and tried again. "I had a visitor at school the other day and the person claimed to be my fiancée. I was wondering if you know about it." Father leaned back in his chair, this time with a carefully guarded look on his face.

"There's been some talks with the Channarong family. What did you think of the daughter?" Father spoke without once taking his eyes off me. One would think he was trying to see how I would react to the information he was giving me.

"Well... the thing is... I already have someone I'm involved with and I-I don't want to leave that person..." I took an instinctive step back when father suddenly stood up. He made his way to the little refrigerator in one corner of his home office and grabbed a bottle of water. He slowly made his way back to his chair and sank into it. Then he carefully uncorked the bottle of water and took some swigs before looking at me again. The silence and his slow and careful motions had me feeling even more nervous.

"So are you going to defy me?" Father's words after he'd finally spoken gave me a sinking feeling.

"I-No but this is about my future and I would like to be the one to decide who I spend the rest of my life with." I let the words fall out of my mouth in haste before steeling myself to look up into father's eyes, to show him that I won't be backing down about this.

Contrary to the angry look I was thinking I'd find on father's face as I looked up, a slow smile, then a booming laughter came from him. I don't remember the last time I saw or heard him laugh so hard. I was confused, I didn't know if it was a good thing that he was laughing so much and so I stood there awkwardly, waiting for his laughter to subside.

"This is wonderful." I heard him say but I wasn't sure what he was referring to as wonderful. "I saw you that day years ago when you overheard Khung Channarong and I talking about getting our children together and I've been wondering how you were going to deal with it. That day I waited for you to come ask me about it but you never did and I've been waiting ever since. Just like you promised your mother you wouldn't defy me, I promised her I would look after you and make sure you're happy. Even though I'm your father you've never asked me for anything and yet I tried to give you everything I thought you'll need to be happy. Today I am happy you're asking me for something." All these years, the money, the cars, everything he ever gave to me, I've always thought that he did it because he felt a little sorry that he had to bring another woman into our house after mother died. He gave another booming laugh before speaking again. "I never agreed to have you marry Channarong's daughter but if she came to you and claimed to be engaged to you then I need to call her father, so we can have a talk. Beam, you're free to love whomever you want as long as the person makes you happy." Even though I heard everything he said, I still couldn't really believe it and I couldn't relax yet because I was still to tell him that the person I'm in love with is a man.