kaitlynn rose // h.s

classroom tension & coffee talks

It's easy to say I dreaded today. Monday meant classes. Classes meant seeing Harry for the first time since he dropped me off at my dorm on Saturday. Harry meant anxiety that was very unwanted.

When I woke up, I felt like I was going to throw up. Erin didn't know anything that happened- I'm really bad at telling her things - so she didn't know I was stressed as hell. Getting ready with little energy resulted in wearing an oversized sweater and leggings. Basic.

I grab my things and start my walk to English. We were getting our first assignment back today with our first grade and that was making me anxious too.

He's already in class, sitting in the chair furthest from the door and in the corner. His eyes meet mine for a short second before I look away and take a seat close to the door. Our professor comes in the door, a smile on her face.

"Good morning, everyone!" She sets all of her things on her table in the front. "Just give me a few minutes and we'll get started."

It felt like he was watching me. I hated knowing that he was over there. I hated the feeling of needing to look when I know damn well I can't do that. I'd probably start crying. Why am I like this?

More people shuffle in slowly and Angela starts class after a few minutes as promised. She was going over properly citing sources for the entire class, which seemed unnecessary since this wasn't a beginners course. Maybe there was a reoccurring problem in the assignments.

I kind of zone her out, doodling along the side of my notes. When she starts to pass back the papers, I pay attention again. There was only five minutes left of class.

"Overall, I was fairly impressed with how all of you did. Some of you need some work, which is why you're here in this class. This assignment is a very, very low percentage of your grade so don't worry about it too much. If it's lower than you'd like it to be, take it as a warning sign for how you should be completing assignments from now on."

When my paper is in front of me, I can't help but cheer internally. Written in red and circled on the top, "A-" and "well done, Kaitlynn! See notes on rubric." I sigh in relief as I flip through my assignment and read all of her little notes. I love when professors take the time to mark up the whole assignment with things they loved or things that needed work. It makes me feel like I have better control over whatever I'm doing in a class.

Angela dismisses the class and I tuck my paper away before swinging my bag over my shoulder. As I head to psychology, it was nice to be free of the tension and thoughts that were consuming me while Harry was in the same room as me. I was done with him until Wednesday. Thank god.

//

"Iced caramel latte for Kaitlynn!"

Slowly I get around to getting my drink off the counter and bringing it back to the table where I had all of my things sprawled out. I had a psychology assignment that was due the same day as my math assignment, and due to this past weekend being all over the place I hadn't started either one of them. My calculus homework was nearly finished since I'd gotten to Starbucks to work. When I felt myself getting distracted, I ordered some sugar and caffeine in the form of a latte.

I'm working for another twenty minutes or so when somebody slides into the chair across from me. I glance up, anxiety rushing through my bones when I see familiar green eyes staring at me. He looked as exhausted as I felt.

"Hey," he breathes out. "Erin said you might be here. Did you get my text?"

I shake my head. "I shut my phone off about an hour ago, it was distracting me."