"So how did that project go yesterday?" Erin asks me as we lay in our dorm room. She was flipping through some magazine for an assignment. "Do you have a good partner?"
I'm glad she's not looking at me, because my cheeks flush. "It went great. My partner is great. We're meeting again after dinner."
"Oh? Well tell Harry hi for me when you're there."
"How did you-"
She laughs, sitting up and looking over at me. "Kaitlynn, you're one of my best friends. I know you so well. I know how uncomfortable you are around new people. When you were explaining to me why your hair was wet, I had a feeling it may of been him. You just confirmed it for me."
"Please don't tell Liam," I mumble quietly.
She looks at me with confusion. "What? Why?"
"Harry doesn't share the fact that he does photography from what I understand," I tell her with a sigh. "I don't know what they know."
"Why wouldn't he talk about it? It's not that big of a deal."
"I'm not sure," I shrug. "It's all really complicated."
"Is this what you were keeping from me at the party? Was it related to photography?"
I nod. She seems confused still. "Can we talk about this? All of it? You're my best friend and I want to know everything that's going on. Like, I understand if you don't want to talk, but I want to know if you're willing. You and Harry are an odd pair, and I guess I'm really confused."
I sit with her and tell her absolutely everything. From the moment we introduced ourselves in English class to yesterday when we spent hours going back and forth between working on our project and fucking around. She's extremely shocked when I tell her we've slept together more than once, but still listens to me in full like she always does. Honestly, I felt much better talking about it with her. I feel like I've been keeping it in for forever.
"Well, I thought I was confused before, but I'm pretty sure you explaining everything makes me even more confused. You're one of the most reserved people I know, and you slept with him after hanging out with him once? There's absolutely nothing wrong with that, but I'm surprised."
"I can't explain why, but he makes me feel really confident and okay with stepping out of my comfort zone. I spent a good amount of time last night thinking about the fact that I let him take pictures of me when I was completely naked. In no world did I ever think that I would be comfortable doing that outside of like, a marriage or something."
"Are you guys just like, messing around? Or are you dating him?"
"I guess we're just messing around," I shrug.
"But you like him, don't you?"
My phone buzzes and I nod as I pick it up, acting like it wasn't that big of a deal. I knew it was kind of a big deal, and I was well aware that I'm probably going to end up getting hurt, but it's too fun to step back.
There's a text from Harry on the screen of my phone.
The film is done developing & drying, so if you want to come over sooner you can. Doors unlocked, come over whenever
"Kait, I feel like you shouldn't sleep with him," she mumbles. "You're going to get hurt. From what Liam has told me about him, I feel like he isn't the kind of guy to commit."
I sigh and look over at her. As I stand up, she looks at me with confusion. Whatever she's heard from Liam, I find it hard to believe that it's all completely true. I don't say this, but it frustrates me.
"Erin, I know what I'm doing. Don't worry so much. He just texted, I'm gonna head over to his place right now."
"Okay. Just please let me know if you need anything, and please know that I'm always here to talk."
I grab a bag and pack up everything I might need. "Can you do me a favor? Can you keep everything we've just talked about between the two of us? I don't know what Liam knows, and I don't want to go over Harry's head."
"Alright, I won't say anything. Promise. How are you getting to Harry's?"
"I think I'm gonna walk, actually. It's only a few blocks off of campus."
"Text me when you get there?"
I nod, grabbing my keys and phone before slipping out the door.
It takes me about fifteen minutes to get there, and as he said the door is open. I wander upstairs, assuming he's in his photography room. I set my bag next to the door and go into the darkroom. Sure enough, he's standing over his developing set up. He turns to look at me as I walk over to him, giving me a small smile.
"Hey, Kait," he mumbles quietly.
"Hey," I smile. I look over his shoulder to see the print that he's working on. It's one that he took after the shower, outside next to an old shed in the yard. "That's a good shot. I like that one."
"Thanks," he smiles at me, giving me a full smile this time. "This only has a few more seconds and then I'll grab your stuff."
"Okay," I nod. I step away, stepping out of the dark room. I text Erin that I'm here and she texts back a thumbs up emoji. Harry walks out of the dark room, over to the film drying cabinet he has. He pulls out the roll that I'd used yesterday and lays it on the light table. I stand with him, looking at the negatives with his little magnifying tool.
"I usually hate having my picture taken, but I think I may have to make a lifetime exception for you," he mumbles. "These are amazing, Kaitlynn."
"You're just saying that to be nice," I shove him lightly. "You're so much better at this than I will ever be. I couldn't even get the settings adjusted on the camera yesterday. You practically did both of our assignments."
"Why do you have absolutely no faith in yourself? Everything you've ever said about yourself has been in negative light. You're incredible, Kaitlynn. I wish you would see that."
I can feel my cheeks warm from blushing. Thinking about the conversation I had with Erin, I was angry that everything I've heard about him has been in negative light.
"Every time I talk to you," I mumble quietly. "I find it hard to believe that there are people in this world that think you're an asshole."
He laughs. "I told you, I'm not the same guy around you as I am around my other friends."
"Why?"
He shrugs his shoulders, looking over at me with a gentle expression. "I don't really know. I guess I just feel like I don't have to put on an act around you."
"Why do you put on an act for them? I just don't think it's worth it to act like somebody you're not for people to like you."
"I don't want to lose them," he says quietly. "They might not know me like the back of their hands, but they're still my friends. They're all I have here."
I can tell that he doesn't really want to talk about this, so I just nod my head to end the conversation. "Well, for the record, I think you're incredible yourself."
"We're not gonna get any work done, are we?" He chuckles quietly.
"As long as it doesn't escalate like yesterday, we should be fine," I mumble under my breath, a dry laugh falling from my lips after I'm done talking.
"I'd apologize for that, but I'm really not sorry."
I shove him playfully and he laughs, clapping his hands once in front of him. If we don't stop goofing off, it might just escalate. So in a very unsmooth manner, I change the subject.
"Do you have extra photo paper? I forgot mine. I can give you some back later."
"I have plenty, don't worry about it. C'mon, lets get to work."
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kaitlynn rose // h.s
Fanfic!! slow updates because of school, sorry in advance !! "the mess of me will always need the best of you" kaitlynn rose walker is a college student with anxiety that doesn't leave her dorm much. harry edward styles is a college student who parties ev...