kaitlynn rose // h.s

tipsy christmas calls

kaitlynnrose: merry christmas ☃️

"Alright, are we all ready to go?"

I glance over at my dad as he's grabbing his keys. With a nod of my head, I grab the bag of gifts that we were taking with us. I lead Maddy and Aiden out to the car and dad follows us.

It's been about three days since Harry flew out. I haven't really been able to talk to him much due to the fact that we've been with our families and due to the fact that there's such a time difference. I miss him and I wish I was with him right now instead of heading to my aunts house.

Here's the thing - I love my family. I really do. But spending hours at a time with all of them on a holiday is the worst. They're all drunk after like an hour, which brings up conversations that nobody wants to have. Drunk or not, they all ask me about what I'm doing with my life, if I'm in a relationship, if I'm working a job, and worst of all, they ask me if I'm "over my anxiety" yet. Because it's absolutely something I can "get over."

"Okay, kiddos. Make sure to help your aunt if she needs it, and make sure to stay out of her way if she doesn't," my dad tells us as he parks the car outside of my aunts house.

I help my dad carry things into the house while Madison and Aiden run inside ahead of us. Unlike me, they still had people inside this house that were around their age. The only cousin that's my age is with her boyfriend this year. Now I get to sit with a bunch of my older family and pretend like I'm super happy to be with them.

"Oh, Kaitlynn Rose! You're here!"

I hug my aunt Rose, who is as cheery as ever. I immediately go to help her in the kitchen, hoping to avoid awkward catch up conversation in the living room for now. Out of everybody that's here, I've always been more connected to aunt Rose. She became a big part of my life when my mom died and kind of fills the void of a motherly figure in my life. She's also the one who I can tell anything to and I know she won't turn around and tell literally everyone else in my family.

"So how is school going for you, miss Kaitlynn?"

I look at my aunt and shrug. I step forward and help her with the cooking. "It's good, I guess. I'm really glad that this semester is over. Finals were stressing me out majorly."

"Oh, how I do not miss the school part of school," she laughs. "But you're having fun? Making lots of friends?"

"Yeah, I'm having lots of fun. I'm uh, I'm not exactly making a ton of friends, but I'm definitely a bit more social than I used to be."

"Your father tells me you have a boyfriend now," she smiles. "Tell me all about it."

I mentally roll my eyes. Of course it's already known that Harry is in my life. I'm sure my dad told them the moment he could. Everybody in my family overshares information that isn't theirs to share.

"Well, his name is Harry," I start, taking a deep breath. "We've been dating for about a month now, I think. We've been best friends for about three or four."

My aunt walks over to work next to me and bumps her hip against mine. "Your father seemed very impressed when I talked to him about it the other day. I believe it was the last day Harry was here that he told me. He also mentioned that you've been having panic attacks again, though."

"Uh, yeah. I'm not really sure why. I think I've just been a little more stressed than usual. I'm sure you've heard an earful already, but dad and I were fighting, I had finals, and there was some other stuff going on too. It all stacked on and I think I lost control. I've been doing much better the last few days, though. Haven't had any attacks since dad and I talked."

"Well," she sighs. "I think the fact that you're doing better has everything to do with Harry. Your dad was saying that when Harry was there to help you, it's the fastest he's ever seen you come down from an attack."

"Really? He said that?"

"Mhm," she smiles, nodding her head. "I've never met the boy but I know for a fact that you've found your human. He sounds wonderful, sweetheart, and I'm so happy for you."

//

My dad ended up having to drive me back to the airbnb. After I had been talking with my aunt, I learned that my wonderful little sister told every single person inside the house that I had a boyfriend, which led to a never ending question and answer session that I did not want. It somehow transitioned into life plans, then my anxiety, and then my drunk uncle brought up politics. At that point, I had drank about three glasses of wine. I told my dad it was the nonalcoholic type my aunt gets every year, but we both knew it wasn't. Especially when I started acting tipsy.

When my sister caught onto the fact that I was slightly drunk, my dad decided it was time for us to leave before she blurted it out. It was nearly ten anyway.

I apologized profusely and quite drunkenly the whole way to the airbnb, but my dad stayed silent.

Once he gets me inside, he leaves. I strip out of my clothes and slip on a sweater and gym shorts. As I lay down in the bed, I call Harry. He answers after a few rings.

"Kait? Is everything okay?"

"Is it ever?" I slur into the phone. I hear some shuffling on his end before a door closes. Part of me knew that it was probably like three or four in the morning where he was and that I'm being an extremely obnoxious girlfriend, but the drunk part of me didn't care.

"Baby, are you drunk?"

"Jus' a lil. Kinda hard to be sober 'round my fam."

He sighs. "Are you alright, sweetheart? Wish I could be there with you."

"My uncle told me I was faking my anxiety for attention," I blurt out, a shaky breath following. "S'when I started drinking."

"Fuck," he breathes out. "That's such bullshit. Now I'm glad I wasn't there. I genuinely would have punched him in the face. What a first impression that would've made, huh?"

I sigh. I missed him so much. "Booked a flight after pouring myself a forth glass of wine," I mutter quietly. "Back to California tomorrow night. Can't be here."

"Geez, Kait. You had four glasses of wine?"

"No," I huff. "Had three. My aunt took my glass away."

"Good. Don't know if you being completely wine drunk around your family would've been very good."

"I probably would have punched my uncle for you."

He chuckles. "Honestly, I would have paid good money to see that. He deserves it for what he said to you. You know how shitty that was right? You're not just passing it off like it's nothing, are you?"

I giggle into the phone at his first comment and curl up into my blankets, another sigh falling from my lips. "I miss you, bub. And yeah, I know it was shitty. It happens every year, so I'm not entirely phased by it."

"I miss you more, Kaitlynn. And I love you and would love to keep talking to you, but it's four in the morning here and you should be sleeping anyway. You wanna call me in the morning? Are you feeling okay enough or do you want me to keep talking with you?"

"Yeah, sure. I'll call you in the morning," I mumble. "I'm okay for now. Sorry for waking you. Needed to hear your voice."

"Don't apologize, love. I told you to call me absolutely whenever and I'd answer."

"Bet you didn't think it'd be four in the morning when you promised me that."

He laughs quietly. "I don't know, you're kind of unpredictable sometimes. Get some rest, alright?  I love you and I'll talk to you tomorrow."

"Love you too, bub. Goodnight."

"Goodnight, my love."