kaitlynn rose // h.s

not a date

"I saw Erin last night," Harry tells me as we take our seats for English. I'd survived the weekend and it was back to being Monday. Recently every day has felt like a Monday.

"Oh? I didn't," I laugh. "She never came back. Where did you see her?"

"I was at Liam's frat. She told me you found a dress for the wedding."

"I haven't bought a dress yet..."

"She didn't tell me you bought one, she told me you found one."

I look at him with annoyance. "If you are about to tell me you're going to buy it for me, don't. I'm not letting you pay for it."

He groans. "Kait, I told you-"

"No."

"I told you I'd take care of you. If you don't take me to where it is, I'll have Erin do it. I'm buying you whatever you need. Not to sound like a dick, but my parents are fucking loaded. Let me do this one thing for you. Please."

I let out a sigh. There was no way he was going to let me win this. "My Psych class gets out at two."

"I'll pick you up at your dorm."

//

"I'm not hungry," I insist.

"Too bad. We're getting lunch."

"You suck," I shove Harry playfully and he laughs as he hooks his arm with mine. We'd just gotten to the mall and when Harry found out I hadn't eaten lunch before my Psych class, he immediately told me we were going out to eat.

"Pretty sure you're the one who does that, love."

"Oh my god," I shove him again, this time crossing my arms so he couldn't wind his arm with mine again. "You're nasty. Where are we eating? And don't ask me because you already know damn well that I won't care enough to give you an answer."

He finds a place that has pizza by the slice and drags me inside. He orders for both of us since I continuously tell him I don't want anything. We find a booth against the window and he drags me in on the same side as him like he usually does. As I sat down with him, we ate and talked. It still kind of amazes me that he cracked my shell so easily. Some of my friends in high school took months to get me to open up to them. Everything about him felt comfortable and welcoming. Not exactly since day one, but it definitely got comfortable quickly.

This felt like a date.

It's most definitely not, but it really felt like one. Every time I start to think about our relationship, I can't help but feel like we are dating, just not to anybody else. I try not to think about it too much. If I think about it too much, I might start to believe it myself. I'm in a relationship that isn't a relationship.

No wonder my anxiety is so present right now.

"Is your dad upset that you're not gonna be home for Thanksgiving break?"

I shrug. "To be upset about it he has to know about it."

"You haven't told him you're going to Holmes Chapel with me?"

A sigh falls from my lips as I swallow the bite of pizza that was in my mouth. "He's going to be mad about it. He's going to be mad that I won't be home and he's going to be mad that I'm going with you even though he has no idea who you are. He's going to be mad that I can't be there to take care of my siblings. I'm honestly dreading it so much that I just haven't called him to tell him."

"Maybe just tell him you're going to a friends house that's closer because you want to save money," he suggests.

"No offense, but I'm not you. I can't lie. I'm so bad at it. You of all people would know that. If I tried to text him something like that, he would call me and the plan would be foiled as soon as I answer the phone."

"You're right," he laughs. "You can't hide shit. You should at least tell him you won't be coming home, though."

I nod and fall back against the booth. We finish eating after a few minutes and we head to Macy's. Harry grabs my hand and tells me to lead him to where the dress is.

It's not a date, Kaitlynn.

I find it after a minute of browsing through the dresses and grab my size.

"S'pretty," Harry mumbles. "You have shoes? A jacket? It's probably gonna be pretty cold."

"I think Erin has shoes I can wear and I was gonna wear my leather jacket."

"Just find some shoes now just in case," he tells me quietly. "Don't want you to not have any if Erin doesn't have some for you to borrow."

After some more persuasion from him, I agree with him about finding shoes. I follow him towards the shoes quietly, trying not to think about how boyfriend-like he's been today. It was killing me slowly.

He starts to laugh and drags me over to the section of kids shoes. I watch with amusement as he smiles and picks up a pair of little rubber boots that were made for five year olds. "Babe, these will look great with that dress."

Babe.

"Only if you wear crocs with your tux."

"Fair enough," he laughs.

I lead him over to the heels and he follows close behind, still holding my hand loosely. The urge to ask him why he was holding it in the first place is screaming inside of me, but I choose to ignore it since we're in public. I don't want it to be a big deal even though at the same time, I do.

"What about these?"

He's pointing at a pair of black pumps. I want to cry looking at the price tag. I would never.

"Those are too expensive," I mumble back to him. An adorable pout forms on his lips as he tugs my hand in annoyance.

"Kait, I already told you that I'm willing to spend whatever on you. Think of it as a thank you for coming with me in the first place."

"I don't need a thank you when you're paying for the entire trip, Harry," I sigh. "Are you absolutely sure that you're okay with spending this much money on me?"

"If I wasn't okay with it, I wouldn't have asked you to come."

I look at him, searching his face for any type of emotion. I can't read him as well as he can read me, but he looks like he genuinely wants to do this for me. He also looks a little annoyed still - that's something I knew already though.

"Please, Kaitlynn?"

"Okay," I nod, a small sigh falling from my lips.

As he smiles at me, I can't help but smile too. I let go of his hand and wrap my arms around his torso to give him a hug. He quickly returns it, wrapping his arms tightly around me and kissing my head.

"M'sorry," I mumble. "Not used to having people buy things for me. Makes me feel weird."

"It shouldn't. I have more money than I know what to do with."

As I back away from him and go to find my size shoes, I ask the question that's been on my mind for awhile now. "This might sound rude, but why do you have so much money?"

"My dad owns a publishing company and my mum runs her own jewelry store. Between the two of them and my step-parents, there's a lot of money in my family. Mainly from my dad's company, though."

"Your dad owns what?"

A loud laugh falls from his mouth as I stare at him in utter disbelief.

"A publishing company. One of the top book publishers in the UK."

"I don't know if I want to scream of joy or hit you right now."

The pout returns to his lips. I wish he'd stop doing that. "Please don't hit me. Please just find some shoes so we can get out of this awful mall."

"Fine. But we're not done talking about this. I can't believe you listened to me rant about publishing companies and just sat there like you had no clue what I was talking about."