kaitlynn rose // h.s

a song for you

"So I know I don't really talk about my music stuff much," Harry starts, not looking at me but at our connected hands on the table instead. "But when we get back to my place... I want, um. I was wondering if you'd want to listen to my latest project? If not, it's okay."

I smile at him and squeeze his hand. "I would love to listen to it."

We'd decided last minute to go out for dinner tonight, and right now we're waiting on our food. Knowing that I get to listen to his music once we're done here makes me want to ask them to hurry with the food, but I worked a few summers in food service so I would never actually do that because it genuinely sucks when people rush things.

"So," I sigh. "Your birthday is next week."

"Unfortunately so."

"Why is it unfortunate?"

He shrugs slightly. "The guys want to throw me a party. Honestly, I just want to spend the entire day with you eating junk food and watching movies."

"I think doing something with everybody would be fun," I suggest. "We watch movies and eat junk food like four times a week. You can tell them you don't want a party and try planning something else? What if we go bowling or something simple like that?"

"Bowling might be a disaster with my friends... But maybe. I'll talk to Liam about it."

Harry looks back down at our hands and twirls my rose ring around my finger. He lifts my hand to his mouth, kisses my knuckles lightly, then looks back up at me.

"Promise me we'll spend the weekend of my birthday together though? No school, no work, no friends... just us for a whole weekend? Think it'll be good for both of us. You've been awfully busy and stressed lately. You also haven't spent more than a few hours with me this week, and not to sound needy, but I really want you to spend the night tonight and for the weekend."

"Okay," I nod, giving him a smile. "Promise."

The waiter brings us our food and we both dig in immediately. We talk a little as we eat, but not much. By the time were done, I'm very eager for them to bring the bill so we can get back to Harry's house.

Once we get back to the house, Harry takes his own sweet time leading me upstairs. We go into a room that I have yet to be in since knowing him. I had never really thought much about what was behind the door, if I'm honest. But when he opened the door to reveal a makeshift music studio, I'm very surprised.

"Honestly..." I mutter as he leads me over to the computer. "How much fucking money does your family have? Have I been living in a weird version of Crazy Rich Asians this entire time? This is insane."

Harry laughs and gives me a nervous smile. "I've been collecting the equipment since I was ten. Every birthday, Christmas... anytime somebody asked what I wanted, I told them one of these things. If somebody gave me money, I would spend it on equipment."

He sits down in the chair by his computer and pulls me into his lap so I'm sitting sideways. I wrap one arm around his shoulders and use my other hand to push his hair out of his face.

"How come you never talk about it?" I ask quietly. "Clearly it's something that you're very passionate about."

I watch as he pulls his bottom lip between his teeth anxiously. I'm so used to seeing him so confident that it's almost refreshing to see him put his guard down a little.

"I think..." he sighs. "I think that I try to keep my walls up so much that I don't like talking about or showing this part of me. My music is something that I've always poured my heart into. It's incredibly personal and vulnerable... and up until now, with you, I've never really felt comfortable playing it for anybody. I've always had a bit of a fear that it sounds awful after I've spent so much time on it."