Touche Cliche ― The Book of Cliches

-terminology

12. terminology

Let's talk about everybody's favourite thing, terminology and grammar! Yay! Graphic content, you know what, I'm done with the disclaimers. Let's start. 

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Your and you're - your is for possession, the other is the contraction of 'you' and 'are'. 

Example: "The fight could have killed your fiance, aren't you at least a tiny bit worried?" (Damn, no-one speaks like this). 

"You're a real cunt for bringing that up, you know that." 

"You're a cunt for reacting that way, biatch!" (We are going off track...for the 50th time)

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Their, they're and there - 'their' is to denote something belonging to multiple people or how to respect someone who's gender you do not know, 'they're' is the contraction of 'they' and 'are' and there is to show a position. (I'm so triggered 'cause Grammarly is putting red lines underneath 'their' and 'they're'.)

A contrived example that proves nothing: "Their attitudes are down the shitter as of late." 

"They're going through a real nasty break-up, cut them some slack." (Who interacts like this?)

"Hey, guys, look over there, looks like Marc is cheating on Lisa with some tramp."

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Which and witch - which is asking a question pertaining to several things or people and witch is a woman - usually evil - who possesses or is thought to possess magical powers (can also be an unpleasant woman). 

Terrible example with terrible dialogue: "Which cake do you think is the best, Jerry Narutus Sasuke Goku Lumpy Twat?" 

"Anyone, Jerica Hinatus Sakura Chi-Chi Twatfaced Cunt. Oh, maybe the one with the witch face if you insist." 

Both rhyme with bitch so I don't really care. 

♕ On to le grammar! Brought to you by Grammarly♕

♕ PARAGRAPHS ARE YOUR FRIEND. 

The most eye-bleeding thing I have seen on Wattpad is when I click on a book and see just a wall of text not split up into paragraphs. I don't care if your story is the best in the world, if something as basic as paragraphs aren't in it, I'm not reading. 

To know when to divide your chapter or short story into paragraphs, just look for a change in theme; this can be a change in time or topic. 

EXAMPLE;

Butterface is writing an autobiography about herself. So far, she (did you just assume their gender?) has three changes in themes: a change in time; a change in the setting; and when she moved onto a different topic - the change in topic being switching from talking about the lemon tree in her garden to reminiscing on a story from childhood. 

ANSWER;

There should be three paragraphs, the change in time; the change in setting; and the change in topic. 

♕ NEW SPEAKER, NEW LINE. 

When writing dialogue, it is imperative for you to distinguish who is talking above all else. If there is a wall of text with just speech marks with no marks between them, it's basically unreadable. 

I know what you're saying, you didn't say who was speaking up above. Yes, I did, but, from inference, you can tell it is not the same person speaking about it over and over also there are only two to three exchanges here, some stories have around twelve and, when there are that many separated by nothing, it can get lost. 

Example: "You know, I think we should split." "Oh my gosh, how could you?" "I just think we should see other people." "Fine! I was cheating on you anyway!" "Sup, guys." "Hey, baby." "Hi, lovey, I missed ya." "Wait, what?" "Oh, you're breaking up with this twat, great." "Yeah, let's get married and have babies." "Well, whatevs, I don't need you anyway, I got my ice cream." "Oh, I love ice cream." "Me too, it's so good." "Yeah, chocolate's my favourite." 

Even with inference, you get kind of lost at the end: here's my suggested edit. 

"You know, I think we should split." Jack abruptly said, fiddling with his thumbs. 

Martha replied with a short gasp, "Oh my gosh, how could you?" 

"I just," Jack paused, looking to the floor, "I just think we should see other people." 

"Fine! I was cheating on you anyway!" Martha grinned at the ever-growing shocked look on Jack's face. 

There were small footsteps as someone entered the room, "Sup, guys." Keith walked up to Martha's side, eyebrow quirked. 

"Hey, baby." Martha kissed his temple before turning back to Jack with a vengeful look on her face.

"Hi, lovey, I missed ya." Keith wrapped an arm around Martha, catching on to her intentions. 

Jack's mouth dropped further, "Wait, what?" 

"Oh, you're breaking up with this twat, great." Keith smirked, tilting his head to rest onto Martha's. 

"Yeah," Martha said, with a slight 'oomph' to her voice, "let's get married and have babies." 

"Well, whatevs," Jack rolled his eyes, fishing a container of ice cream from where it lay, melting, on the couch behind him, "I got my ice cream." 

"Oh, I love ice cream," Keith said. 

Martha looked at Keith like a deer in headlights before responding with a lie, "Yeah, chocolate's my favourite."

Which one is the most fluid?  I'll leave it up to you.

♕ AUTHOR'S NOTE; 

Anywho, I wanted to make a more informative piece to combat the rants I've been making for the past few chapters. I'm planning on this story being equal mix educational and ranting to spice things up.