Touche Cliche ― The Book of Cliches

-rant; the horror of horror

17. the horror of horror

Horror is arguably the least forgiving genre when it comes to how many cliches you can get away with it. If your book is riddled with cliches, your reader's are not going to be scared because they will have already known what's coming.

Whilst I don't personally write horror, I realized today after a quick skim of the horror category that the horror on Wattpad is a complete shitshow. I am so sorry for any horror readers out there who have had to suffer through that hellhole.

And I thought romance was bad.

Anyway, my top tip to writing horror is to subvert the reader's expectations. If someone opens a horror book and there are no cliches in sight, then they are going to be genuinely terrified because they don't know what's next. 

Without further ado, let's get into the cliches. Oh yeah, graphic content and unpopular opinions ahead. 

No shade to anyone who uses these cliches, my job is to entertain and educate you, not to bully or demoralize you.

THE CLICHES;

THAT ONE YANDERE STORY;

Yanderes are not scary. 

Let me get that out of the way. Any yandere that is referred to as a yandere is the same fucking character. It's the same overprotective, possessive, abusive lunatic with no character development every single time. 

Every time I read a yandere horror story, it's the same thing with just a new coat of paint. 

Yanderes are not sexy, yanderes are not cool, yanderes are not scary, yanderes are the antithesis of horror. 

I beg you; if you are going to make your villain a yandere, please bring something new to the concept because everything about a yandere is repetitive and boring and devoid of any horror elements. 

CREEPYPASTA ISN'T HORROR;

There I said it.

Sure, creepypasta is a great way to hone your horror techniques as a growing author and, sure, there are some good creepypastas, but the majority are... Interesting to say the least.

Jeff the Killer is not scary. He's your everyday emo fuckboy that has been so fetishized that he's lost any of his original horror factor [not that he really had any in the first place]. 

If you want to regurgitate the same 'Jeff the Killer falls in love with quirky self-insert chick that's not afraid of him', go ahead but may I remind you that he is supposed to be a PSYCHOPATH.

Sorry, boo-boo, but Jeff ain't loving you.

Also, why would you name your creepypasta Jeff? That's like the least scary name you could pick other than Bob. 

UNINTERESTING VILLAINS;

You don't know how much this annoys me.  I've made up my mind, I'm going to make a guide to making compelling villains 'cause this ain't it, sis.

I always find that the villains in horror are always so uninteresting. They're almost always male, they almost always have daddy issues or have childhood trauma, are so fucking edgy that it hurts and are in some way attracted to the main character.

The biggest problem with horror is the lack of subtlety, everything is spelt out for you. You're never made to guess who the masked murderer will turn out to be and use logical clues that the author has given to you to lead you to a logical explanation. 

No, it's either revealed at the get-go or revealed so tactlessly that it makes my poor heart want to break. 

Also, there is never a compelling character motivation for why the villain does what they do. It just boils down to 'I have issues so instead of trying to seek therapy or help, I decided to murder innocent people'. I feel like what's happened over the years is that people are so obsessed with showing how downright evil people can be that they've forgotten about the middle line between good and evil.

And how come none of these 'villains' act like human beings. They're just cold and emotionless - they never break down into tears, they never are remorseful, they never act like someone we are supposed to sympathise with or feel like they are bad people. They give us no reason to want to go up to them and hug them or a reason to tell them that they're messed up and morally bankrupt.

I appreciate if you want to make a stone-cold killer, but the most compelling villain is the villain that is so close to what we are to the point where we ask ourselves if this villain could have been us in an alternate universe. 

That is character development, that is gusto, that is horror. 

Horror isn't cheap jump scares or haunted mansions, horror is when you question yourself on a deep human level. 

WORD COUNT; 782

ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED; Tues, 14th May at 7: 39PM