Just as the title says; a book of cliches from every genre of literature. Also including ways to fix Mary-Sue characters and to be a good writer.
cover art by @miaoutt.
top rankings―
01. in 'genuine'!
02. in 'genres'!
09. in 'selfhelp'!
15. in 'clic...
Um, so this book just got like two hundred reads. Thank you all for reading and voting and commenting.
To celebrate, I've published a new book called ❝TIA TAMERA❞ (named after that Doja Cat song). It's basically a rant book because I'm petty and need a place to vent my frustrations. Feel free to check it out when you have time.
Woohoo, so let's do this. There may be graphic content ahead, but my dad's nowhere in sight.
DUMB BLONDES.
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Why do all the blondes on Wattpad have an IQ of -10000? I just don't understand, there can be smart blondes, dumb brunettes, dumb redheads and dumb people with black hair. What are people with black hair called? Blackheads? I have no clue.
But what I do know is that hair colour does not dictate your level of intelligence. That's just stupid. One of the smartest girls in my class is a blonde. There are countless intelligent people who are born blondes.
And not all blondes are bubbly and flirty and busty, my blonde friend is reclusive, shy and (by her own admission) flat-chested as fuck. So, in conclusion, not all blondes are bimbos.
JEALOUS HOES.
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Why are all the blondes on Wattpad hoes who 'sleep with everything that walks' yet specifically wants to fuck the main character's love interest? It's insane how frequently I see this cliche and it's literally one of the laziest ways to write a love rival. It just screams amateur writer.
It's also annoying how these characters don't get any character development. They're just flat, one-note characters whose only two character traits are sleeping around and wanting to steal the main character's man.
Here's my suggested edit:
The love rival is a friend of the love interest and is way too shy to confess their love for the protagonist's love interest. When they finally build up the courage and confidence to confess and go to find the love interest, they find the protagonist in the middle of a spicy makeout session with their crush. The rival is absolutely heartbroken and decides to do everything in their power to break the protagonist and the love interest up.
It's not the best scenario, but hopefully, it's a start to get the character into a more developed character than a basic, broke bitch villain.
_______
So, you may have wondered what inspired me to write this chapter. The answer to that is pretty simple, my friend sent me a story to read - claiming it was one of the most cliched story that she'd ever read. Being the self-proclaimed cliche cop that I am, I decided to read it and... Um... It was awful.
First of all, the love interest is a complete creep. He takes the protagonist's virginity during a drunken one-night-stand and then shows up at her door, demanding that she allow him to fuck her. So, after this lunatic stalks her and comes to her house and demands that she sleep with him, she decides that she's turned on and sleeps with him.
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What the fuck? So, as if that wasn't bad enough, the sex scene that follows is utter garbage. The guy, of course, has a twelve-inch dick; the female protagonist can swallow his entire dick like a porn star despite only having one previous sexual encounter; and, after the scene, they fall asleep and then, the next day, the girl just puts on her clothes and goes to school.
Girl, you have semen in your vagina and you're just going to go to school smelling like dick and booty? That's gross, fastest way to get urinary tract infection.
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But, wait, it gets worse.
The protagonist and her stalker spend a few days boning because her parents somehow don't exist and, after the author finally graces us with a school chapter, we are introduced to who I'm going to call Regina George. Regina is the most popular girl in school and has slept with pretty much every guy in school because, of course, she has.
What's even worst is that she wants to bone the love interest for no reason other than he's hot and she's a 'slut'. Why? Just why?
So, the story drags on and becomes a stupid romance-erotica that is just so bland and so predictable that there was absolutely no tension or suspense. I knew that the main character wasn't going to get her man stolen and I knew that they would eventually graduate and get married and have twins, one boy and one girl, and live in a middle-class house and grow old together.
